Sometimes things are just not meant to be no matter how much you pivot to try and make it work.
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One of my all time favorite episodes of “Friends” is the one where Chandler and Rachel are enlisted to help Ross move his new couch up the staircase. Despite the fact that the couch is clearly not going to fit, Ross refuses to believe it and keeps yelling “pivot” “pivot” . Finally, wedged between the couch and the wall, Chandler cries out for him to shut up and Ross finally concedes saying “I don’t think it’s gonna pivot anymore”. It makes me laugh out loud every time just thinking about it.
I think it’s so funny because we can all relate to forcing things when, despite how much we wish they would, they just don’t fit. Sometimes things are just not meant to be no matter how much you pivot to try and make it work. The word pivot is used so widely these days to indicate a kind of right of passage or reclaiming of one’s life. It suggests leaving something behind in order to find something better. A turning away. I see it differently. Let me explain.
In dance, a pivot is a kind of step. Dancers learn to pivot by developing a strong center to support a change of direction and then to guide it back to the pivot point. If your core is not strong enough, the pivot will be sloppy and throw you off your center.
In life, we pivot all the time. In every waking moment of the day, as we make choices about where and how we choose to engage and experience the things in and around us. The key is to know whether or not we are making these choices consciously or by default and to draw awareness around the distinction between whether we are being drawn toward something or trying to leave something behind.
In the words of Dr. Emily Nagoski “ If you’re moving toward a specific, desired goal, your attention and efforts are focused on that single outcome. But if you’re running away from a threat, it hardly matters where you end up, as long as it’s somewhere safe from the threat.”
So pivot away my friends but I encourage you to remember that just as dancers stretch their muscles and strengthen their core, so must we stretch ourselves and become strong enough in our core values that wherever we pivot, we remain connected to our center.
I’m Lisa Hopkins thanks so much for listening. Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment.