Hanako Greensmith: Igniting Her Creative Fire

Have you ever pondered the roller coaster ride of self-discovery in the acting world, the beauty found in moments of vulnerability, and the power of living in the present? Well, you're about to get a front-row seat, as we navigate through all these and more with Hanako Greensmith, an accomplished actress from NBC's Chicago Fire. Lisa get's real with Hanako and challenges her to think about what might be holding her back. Hanako candidly shares her struggles with self-worth and victim mentality and gives us a glimpse into her journey to success influenced by her father's work ethic and her deep connection with nature.

Hanako opens up about the challenges she faces in the acting industry and her role in Chicago Fire. She reflects on the personal growth, stability, and realization of her capabilities that the role has given her. Hanako tale is not just about her profession; it's also about her gift of empathy. She speaks on how this has shaped her interactions and relationships with others, expanding her perspective beyond the world of acting.

We delve into the importance of living in the moment and overcoming limiting beliefs. Hanako imparts her personal experiences in recognizing her needs and wants, and prioritizing herself.  Join us for this insightful exploration of Hanako Greensmith's world; it's a profound journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and balance in the unpredictable world of acting.

If you are enjoying the show please subscribe, share and review! Word of mouth is incredibly impactful and your support is much appreciated!

Chapters

• 0:24 Finding Balance, Embracing the Present Moment
• 8:27 Balance and Fulfillment in Art-Nature
• 15:04 Challenges in Acting and Self-Worth
• 23:57 Artist's Journey and Creative Desires
• 33:03 Living in the Moment, Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
• 37:25 Reflections on Goals, Dreams, and Identity

Transcript

Lisa Hopkins: 0:24

This is the Stop Time podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought-provoking, motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at. So my next guest is currently most well known for her series regular role as Violet on NBC's Chicago Fire, but I know her as the dedicated and passionate performing artist that she is and have had the great pleasure of working with her in the dance studio as her teacher while she was pursuing her BFA in Musical Theater from Pace. It has been so much fun watching her trajectory and I am grateful to have been part of her journey which, at just 26 years old, is only just beginning. Really so excited for this conversation and the opportunity to sit down today with the one onlyH only Hanako Greensmith.

Hanako Greensmith: 1:26

Hi, I'm so excited to be here. This is so surreal.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:32

Welcome. It's so great Really. Thanks so much for taking the time. I mean, I know it took us a while to find the time.

Hanako Greensmith: 1:38

I know no, no, no, but I'm so grateful that we found it All in divine timing. I say I loved your questions on the questionnaire as I was reading them and I was like, oh wow, this is going to be a really fascinating and wonderful conversation. I love that you're asking these questions because they're not so much to do with the objective success, whatever that means for performers. It's really about what do you do in the interim, and what does success really feel like or mean to you when you've achieved something that you might have thought you wouldn't have?

Lisa Hopkins: 2:06

I'm with you on that. I told you I'm not attached to. I didn't even know you were on Chicago Fire. Actually I know now, obviously. But when I asked you I wasn't thinking of that, I was just thinking of interesting people and I knew that you were working. I mean, I knew you were busy and stuff like that. Then I looked you up and I was like that's cool.

Hanako Greensmith: 2:24

It makes me so happy because I had no idea. I love that we've seemed to have both connected in some way in your class.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:30

Yeah, totally no, it's super cool. First of all, where are you right now? Are you in New York?

Hanako Greensmith: 2:37

I'm actually in LA. My parents are away doing some work overseas, and so they were like will you do us a favor and water the plants? I'm on hiatus from work and there's a writer's break, so I said I'll have a place to stay in LA for free. I will absolutely water your plants.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:52

So that's, why.

Hanako Greensmith: 2:52

I'm here.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:53

That's so cool. So I was under the impression that your parents lived in New York, but no, Well, I grew up.

Hanako Greensmith: 2:58

Wow, good memory because I grew up in New York but my dad ended up getting a job in LA so he moved here, actually right after I graduated high school. So I went to Pace and was commuting to LA for the holidays.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:10

Okay, I got it, so that's cool. So you're on hiatus and there's a strike. That's always fun, really.

Hanako Greensmith: 3:15

Yeah, having a time of my life.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:19

So how long have you called LA like home? Do you call that home now? I mean, it was you said. After your senior year in high school you moved here.

Hanako Greensmith: 3:26

Yeah, well, I mean I would say that New York is probably still my home. I think going to high school there and then going to Pace and staying in those years after that, I also just felt very close to New York, like it was a very love-hate relationship and that's how I know I can call a place home when I feel like I know so much about it. I know what makes me feel safe and makes me feel loved, but also know all the things that make it really frustrating and at times unlivable. So I definitely still find New York a home of mine. I live in Chicago now for work and that's slowly becoming my own version of home there too. But LA is still kind of a foreign beast. I love visiting her, but it's definitely it comes with its own kind of curiosities that I'm still learning to figure out. That makes sense for me, I guess.

Lisa Hopkins: 4:09

Yeah, for sure. I love that. You didn't like go to LA like a lot of actors do, like I'm not here at all. You're like I'm going to LA because that's what you're supposed to do. I'm not hearing that. All it's like no, I got a apartment to hang it. I got some time. I'm going to go there. That's awesome.

Hanako Greensmith: 4:22

I mean I might end up here one day in a couple of years, I don't know. But it's kind of nice to kind of experience what it's like to be here without a schedule, just to experience what it's like to be an actor, kind of figuring out the interim time that is most of our time, and see how that energetically feels for me and if that's something I could do in the future.

Lisa Hopkins: 4:40

Totally, and I love how you said energetically feels. I mean, you're talking my language right, like literally. Like I say, when I talk to my guests and my clients, it's like I check in with how they're doing energetically, because that's where we operate from. Energy is the way we lead, right.

Hanako Greensmith: 4:56

Absolutely.

Lisa Hopkins: 4:57

Yeah, so how are you feeling ?

Hanako Greensmith: 5:00

Good question I was just thinking about that. As you said that I was like I haven't asked myself that in a while yeah, I'm feeling a mixed bag.

Hanako Greensmith: 5:09

I think I'm feeling a little disappointed in myself, which is feeling a little harsh, just because I have this strange, unique blessing of knowing I have work on the other side of the strike, because I know I have another season of work coming up, and yet I feel like I'm not taking advantage of this freedom enough, even though what I'm doing can be perfectly enough, and I feel like I'm constantly trying to find the best case scenario of what I'm doing with my time, and when it doesn't feel like I'm doing the best thing I can be doing, I get really hard on myself.

Hanako Greensmith: 5:40

So I think I'm feeling energetically a little depleted. I'm asking too much of myself and I'm not enjoying what I have as part of me at the moment.

Lisa Hopkins: 5:49

Yeah, thank you for sharing that. That makes a lot of sense, but it's perfectly natural, first of all, right? I mean, you're a high achiever just by nature, right? Yeah?

Hanako Greensmith: 6:01

Yeah, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:03

Yeah, I mean you want to be the best you can be and do what you do, and I, knowing you, I don't know you that well, but I can even just tell, even though I didn't know you, that it's not about just the one thing you're doing. I feel like it's all aspects of your life that you set the bar for yourself, right 100% yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 6:20

Yeah, yeah no that makes no sense. The only thing that you define as your occupation it's like all about your life too, and for me, my home, my home must feel like my sanctuary, like that's something I invest a lot of time and energy into as well. There are a lot of facets of your life that make up your life.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:38

Yeah, I love that. Is that a common you know? You shared with me that you kind of beat yourself up a little bit when you're not. I don't want to paraphrase, finish that phrase.

Hanako Greensmith: 6:51

Yeah, yeah, I just thank you. I think I beat myself up when I don't feel like I'm doing enough, and I've noticed that unless I'm like stretched thin or I'm at like my total capacity, I don't feel like I'm working hard enough to deserve the things that I have or to get more of what it is that I want. Like New York was kind of a terrible, terrible addiction, because you can really really push yourself to a point where you feel like you can breathe and that's kind of where everyone exists synergistically in New York. And it's addictive because, as someone who wants to be an overachiever and doesn't necessarily feel like they're achieving enough, you can push like a hamster on a wheel until you absolutely burn out and that you can live at that state for years at a time. It's not healthy, but a lot of us do it.

Lisa Hopkins: 7:34

Yeah, no, you're right, you're bang on, it's unsustainable, for sure. It's interesting because the stretching yourself thin and full capacity that sounds like a massive limiting belief, right there. Right, that in order to function at my full capacity, I need to be stretching myself thin is what I kind of heard underneath what you were saying yeah, which is interesting because I mean, and you're not alone. So I think it's thank you for sharing that, because I'm sure that the listeners will kind of go, yeah, yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 8:04

But, unfortunately.

Lisa Hopkins: 8:05

I hope so. Well, and the thing is and this is where we kind of call it out is sort of say, where does it come from? You did share that it comes from New York, but besides from an environment for you, where does it come from? Where does that message come that, when you're at your full capacity, a that you're best?

Hanako Greensmith: 8:23

What's its history? Yeah, I think for me in particular. I come from a family of musicians.

Hanako Greensmith: 8:29

And my father has a very similar attitude of just doing as much as you humanly, physically can at all times. And I remember I was locked down with my parents at one point and I'm an only child and so I also happen to kind of like I get the most exposure to my parents. It's not me and my sibling, it's me and my parents. And so I think during lockdown it was hard because I was in between jobs. I had no idea what I was doing. I was even just thinking I don't think I have the mental stamina to be an actor. I don't think I can withstand this, and I know so many incredible, talented actors who are like I love acting. I don't love the lifestyle, and I wondered if that was going to be me too.

Hanako Greensmith: 9:09

And so I think, being exposed to watching my dad my whole life, but especially during the pandemic, find ways to continue just pounding into himself as much as he can and doing as much as possible, given the limitations of COVID, I feel like that is a lot of why I also feel like I'm constantly underachieving. I have to do as much as he's doing or I have to do. I have to be striving to absolute, full, unsustainable, stretched thin in order for me to feel like I'm actually accomplishing enough to define myself as an artist, which isn't true. I mean, I could call, I could say, someone who does pottery on Saturday is also an artist. Like you can do the least amount of art and still be an artist, as long as you're just partaking in it and you view yourself as one. That's all you have to do, thank you.

Lisa Hopkins: 9:55

Yeah, well, I mean, you are an artist, it's so fun, Well it's, you're an artist sitting here, we are artists sitting here, you know, and, and it's so interesting, right, it's so interesting and so right, it's so understandable. But that this happens and and, yeah, that makes sense, that it was modeled a little bit right and so, obviously, you know you love your parents and yeah, and you know, and it probably brought you, you know, got you into some good schools and got you some good training, yeah, yeah, you know, when we have these, when we sort of model these things, have them modeled and then also follow along and we get good things, it's difficult to ever ever sort of think about it as well. Maybe that's not working anymore, because that's what got me here, but what you hear is not what's gonna get you where you want to go.

Hanako Greensmith: 10:42

It just isn't yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Yeah, it's a toxic thing. When it works, then it's like I used to over prepare like crazy for everything, to a point where it would kind of limit me in the moment, and then it. The problem is, though, like I wouldn't forget my lines, I wouldn't forget my lyrics, I wouldn't forget the steps, so it then kind of became a practice that I couldn't let go of, because I knew it was the one thing I could trust, but then it's taken a lot of time to trust myself and to know that, even if I haven't pounded it into myself, it's there I can trust, make capabilities to show up when I need them to.

Lisa Hopkins: 11:14

Yeah, exactly, you nailed it. I mean, it's funny. I work a lot with my clients about Um recognizing that their strengths are sometimes their weaknesses because we default to them Always am. That's what got me here. I got this. Let's do it right. And what you don't realize when you do that all the time is that there's other options, there are other shades of you that can actually, you know, you can operate from, that are more effective. Actually, in different scenarios. You know the nuance and even as an actor, right, I mean the nuance that you can add to that. I mean, if you played the character all one way, yeah, like it'd be their shallow character, right?

Hanako Greensmith: 11:52

So Every person, for better, for worse, has very many colors.

Lisa Hopkins: 11:57

Yep, you're the character. Yep, your story. Yeah, follow that. Right, you know what you do for your characters that you're playing. You're not even relating that those things to yourself, right what?

Hanako Greensmith: 12:11

do I need? What do I want? Oh wow, that's a really good point. Yeah, we're so conditioned to ignore those elements of ourself, our basic, fundamental desires and needs.

Lisa Hopkins: 12:23

And we're trained to think that that wanting a lot of us feel like saying you want something is greedy or narcissistic, or this and that, and that's not what want means.

Hanako Greensmith: 12:32

No, no, I agree.

Lisa Hopkins: 12:34

Yeah, um, so it's so interesting, so yeah, so a lot of times it's just like what do you want? Like if I said to you what do you want, but we, how would you answer me?

Hanako Greensmith: 12:42

Oh, right now, what I want, I know it. I want to be in nature so badly. I've been in cities for so long and I just want to wake up to birds, not honks from cars. That's all I want right now. That's actually all I want, that's amazing so.

Lisa Hopkins: 12:58

So tell me, tell me a bit about um, why that's important to you, especially right now.

Hanako Greensmith: 13:03

I think I've been in needing.

Hanako Greensmith: 13:06

I've been in need of an emotional reset and I feel like it's really hard for me to focus on my needs and wants when I'm so Distracted by so much happening around me.

Hanako Greensmith: 13:15

And I noticed during lockdown, although it was emotionally, mentally, such a challenging time for me, for everyone I knew around me, I Found that by being. You know, at one point I was with my last partner's family for a while and just being in massachusetts in the summer was huge for me. Just being able to go on a walk and Take it like a little meditation, by a, like a bio Creek, was so huge for my mental stability. And not having access to that for so long and after so much work this year of just not like again being stretched so thin, I start to find that the only thing that brings me Nourishment or brings me back to myself is just being with trees, with grass, with water, with birds, with animals, all of it. It's so simple, but so much. So many of us live without it day to day and there's a reason why you know we were born from the earth Like we should be around it more than we often, than we often are.

Lisa Hopkins: 14:10

And do you think that if you had that regularly that you would be, it would be easier for you to show up to your full capacity?

Hanako Greensmith: 14:17

I do. I think it would be also easier for me to show up to my artistic capacity. Yeah, I feel very separate from it when I'm in a city. There's just too much to take me away from it.

Lisa Hopkins: 14:27

Yeah. So when you have this time that you that you referred to right now, where you're telling yourself you're not working hard enough, you're not stretching yourself thin or whatever, but actually what it is is this gift of time, the strike, and then the knowing what and what, what you just told me can you make the connection of I want to work to my fullest capacity, which is what your voice is saying, you can say, yes, I want that too. Thank you for that message. And what I just told Lisa is that, yeah, what will help me be, you know, the at my best capacity is nature, and I have time for that right now. Therefore, right, can you make that connection? Does that? Does your brain go? Oh, no, that's wasting time. You're in LA, go out and audition. What does it say?

Hanako Greensmith: 15:06

Well, what I think my mind then says is how, how are you going to make that happen? I mean, here are all all the obstacles that are in front of you to make that happen. You know I have to be in LA. I have plans to see people. I do want to be in the city to experiment living here. I might want to see my partner at the end of the month. I also then want to see my friend in the aterondacks. They be next month. That interferes with, but I find a way to like put a speed bump to every way I could execute what it is that I want to be.

Lisa Hopkins: 15:31

Totally, totally, and guess what, you know, I'm gonna call you out. That's the victim mentality, that's totally, totally acting. I can't, that's. I can't do that because, all right external things that I, you know, if we're working together, I call bullshit, please call bullshit. You're in California, like one of those beautiful states in the world. I mean, you know, I mean even LA, there are places to go. I mean I've lived there, I know there are. Anyways, I'm gonna not have fun even.

Hanako Greensmith: 15:57

No, no, you're right. I mean, and that's that's where you know, I'll even google, like you know, getaways, you know solo trip getaways, really, and and somehow I'll find a reason to not allow myself to go.

Lisa Hopkins: 16:08

Yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 16:09

It was like because I have reproductive, but it's literally the victim mentality of just oh, but I can't because of blah, I'm, I'm making it not happen for myself.

Lisa Hopkins: 16:17

Yeah, those are those are lies and without going into an actual coaching session, yeah sure, well, we can talk another time.

Hanako Greensmith: 16:23

You know, I'm gay.

Lisa Hopkins: 16:24

It's totally. It's so interesting though. So listen, I'm read somewhere Maybe this probably does link in, because things do. I read somewhere that when you got the role of violet that you auditioned once for the role without a callback, yeah, and. And it says as for the quick audition process, you said maybe it's because they needed someone pretty last minute. I, I don't even know. Did you say that?

Hanako Greensmith: 16:44

Thank you for doing such loving research. Yes, I did say that.

Lisa Hopkins: 16:49

Okay, why did you say that? What did you mean by that? I?

Hanako Greensmith: 16:53

I mean, I have all my own theories of what you never really know what's going on behind the scenes. But yeah, um, I guess I just figured because in all of the the smaller roles that I had had, especially with this casting office, I had assumed like someone must have dropped out for it to be such like Expedited process and and I remember coming into the audition room and they, they already had so many notes before even started. So it felt like maybe you've seen a lot of people misinterpret these lines and you just want to see, before we waste time on me misinterpreting it, if I get it right the first time. Um, yeah, I love you, right, as you said that I I feel like it might have been a subtle call out. Tell me if I'm incorrect, but I'm like assuming that I couldn't have just been right for the role, assuming that I must have just been Saving the situation and been someone's back up as opposed to their first choice.

Lisa Hopkins: 17:39

Yeah, because because you hadn't spread yourself too thin yet, which is your familiar place, you hadn't killed yourself to get the job Right right and therefore I didn't feel like I must have deserved it.

Hanako Greensmith: 17:51

Mmm Damn, lisa, call me out.

Lisa Hopkins: 17:56

It makes sense, right? I mean, that's you, but. But what's cool is when you recognize that, that's pattern recognition and that means you recognize that you break that pattern, you start to break. It's not going to break just like that, but you but, you'll become more aware, aware of this, and then you'll start to disprove these justification lines that your brain has yeah, which is, and it's there to keep you safe. I mean, that's what I always say. These aren't? We always spend so much time saying I don't want to have these thoughts and we spend a lot of energy trying to get rid of them. But you know, in my work we talk about no, no, no. We want to repurpose the energy. We need the end. We want energy, yeah, of course we get.

Lisa Hopkins: 18:34

We get to know these thoughts and sort of call them out in a way, but not in a way like you know screw you, get the hell out of here. But rather, where did this come up from? That makes sense. It did help me then. Right, I'm a big girl now I don't need that anymore. Um, so this is what I'd like. You know, I call it rescripting, little rescripting. Your, your, re-write, you know the gremlin. Just say like I don't need you to play that role in my life anymore. But what I could do is I could really use you for this, like to help me when I go to audition to not stay up too late trying to make it perfect or do 25.

Lisa Hopkins: 19:09

You know self tapes instead of you know six. Yeah, totally Do. You know what I mean. And so, and then, and then, you get the buy-in literally from your own energy, your own self, yeah right and then you start repurposing it. So it serves you rather than you know.

Hanako Greensmith: 19:23

Oh right, right, right, rather than you feeling, feeling like you have to berate your version of yourself or punish yourself. It's just actually all love, it's just repurposing. It's like hey, gremlin, you're really good at that. I think I have you in the wrong occupation, but you're really good at this kind of thing. So let's put you here and then you can go here, because I actually think if you guys switched, it would be more helpful to me.

Lisa Hopkins: 19:42

That's right. Yeah, that's right. You know the whole thing, the whole scene looks a little better when you space it out this way, or, you know, when you're playing it at, you've out. You know you've outgrown the role. Yeah, yes, absolutely, I hope so. Yeah, you know they. Yes, that's pretty cool.

Lisa Hopkins: 19:54

What would you say? What you say is the biggest challenge that you face right now. You've kind of shared a little bit of it with me, which is kind of giving yourself grace. It sounds like a little bit. Is there anything else?

Lisa Hopkins: 20:07

Like if I were to say to you and actually maybe challenge is a word that this also strikes me is that you are very Tell me if I'm wrong. You can totally tell me if I'm wrong. So I don't want to project, but I get the sense that you're okay with being a work in progress, that you're not about the last credit, the next credit that you are. Even the fact that when I said send me your bio, you sent me no, but it's totally fine, I love that. But I love that you didn't go and she worked with us and she did that and she did this. Do you know what I mean? And that says something about you, though, that you're not resting on your laurels, you're not saying what's coming up, you're not anything. So I'm just curious when I even say challenge, is that even a thing for you? Or do you like challenge? Do you thrive? I'd say what's the biggest challenge? Do you go? I don't know, I don't know. What do you think?

Hanako Greensmith: 21:09

Well, it's funny that you say that I feel like my bio was actually short. Maybe not because I don't prioritize what it is that I've accomplished or I don't feature it as a part of myself. I genuinely am like I don't have so much to share. I feel like there's. Yeah, I feel like since graduating, my trajectory has been very linear. It's just been two small things and then one big thing, and I've just stuck with the big thing for a while and I've loved every second of it.

Hanako Greensmith: 21:33

It's had its own challenges, but I genuinely deeply love it, I would say. Actually, one of my biggest challenges is I do feel like I'm an actor, that I validate myself based off of accomplishments outside of myself, not things that I've accomplished within myself as a person, but things that I can use as armor, being like, yes, but I've done this, so therefore I'm validated. You can still think I'm an actor because I'm working on a show right now. So I think that is a challenge for me is finding worth outside of my occupation, finding worth in the progress or in the work and process, like work and progress that I am and still feeling okay with that. I feel like I constantly struggle with it.

Hanako Greensmith: 22:16

I noticed, actually, when I got Chicago Fire as a more permanent gig. That was the thing I relished the most was after the pandemic, and people have been like being an actor must be hard, right, because you can't work that much and you've got to be broke all the time and, yeah, that's true, a lot of the time. But for the first time in my life, I was able to say, no, here's my armor, I have something to show you, I can prove to you that I am worthy of being an actor and I'm worthy of being, for some reason, therefore, also a person, which is problematic, and I'm working on that and I don't like that part of myself right now.

Lisa Hopkins: 22:49

Fair enough. No, thank you. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. What do you think might have been different had you not gotten a long-standing gig?

Hanako Greensmith: 22:57

Yeah, no, I think about it a lot. I wonder what I have actually left the industry, what I have said. Yeah, my mental health really really struggled right before this job. This job almost didn't happen and there's a really long story behind it that we honestly it's not worth getting into, but it tested me and my mental stability within the industry in a way that I hadn't experienced yet, you know, when you're in school, it's four years of training and you can kind of just enjoy that.

Hanako Greensmith: 23:27

There's another year of school, there's another year of school and then senior year heads and you're looking at life dead in the eyes and so I, yeah, I wonder where I would have gone and how I would have stayed maybe with or not with the industry, had this job not come into fruition. You know, looking into the future I won't be with this show forever and to see how will I show up for myself when that moment arrives. Because I won't be. I won't be 2021-22. I'll probably be in my 20s or maybe my 30s.

Lisa Hopkins: 23:57

Yeah, yeah, no, that's so valid and it's really interesting because you're right. I mean it's a gig and it's great, but it's really no different than a nine to five person in another industry getting a great job and then sticking with it.

Hanako Greensmith: 24:14

A hundred percent.

Lisa Hopkins: 24:15

Right and there's no difference between that. But as artists you don't know right. It's so ambiguous we don't know what might be next yes, absolutely. Yes, it's true.

Hanako Greensmith: 24:26

And there's a reason why I think actors are inclined to not be the nine to fives. And I mean, some people love their nine to fives, like I've got good health insurance, I want two kids and I want to live in this suburb and that job gives them everything they need. But for actors that's not often what they're looking for and if it is normally, they don't stay because you won't. You won't find that in acting most of the time.

Lisa Hopkins: 24:47

Yeah, no for sure. I think now, where are you at now? Because you've had some time kind of on both sides, right? I mean, you described the time when you felt like you didn't even know if you could handle it right. And then this thing came along and you're like okay, so you're sort of riding the wave and so it ticks a lot of boxes, right. I mean, are you still feeling like you want to keep doing this? I mean, obviously you're going to do it. Well, maybe not, obviously.

Hanako Greensmith: 25:13

I know I think it's going to be really interesting for me to see how the work that I've done shows up I like the internal work that I've done shows up or doesn't show up after this gig comes to an end and to see how I weather the storm.

Hanako Greensmith: 25:27

But I think a lot of what this job did for me is it proved that like I look back on it and I'm like I almost left this industry, this job, this love of mine, and I had barely been out of school.

Hanako Greensmith: 25:42

I barely gave myself grace or patience to just stick with me and believe that maybe I had enough to get me somewhere, and I think that was a valuable experience. To now look back on that timeline and see how much I've been lucky enough to experience in this particular job. That proved to me a couple of times over that there's still so much, not only that I'm able or capable of doing, but how much I love, how much maybe the waiting is worth it, because that flicker of joy that you get to experience when you really get to do what you love for a short period of time makes it all worth it. I'm really hoping that that lesson sticks with me and all of the uncertainty that comes after, and hopefully I can have patience and grace with myself after to enjoy other outlets while I wait or like while I work towards the next little flicker that I get to experience, and just kind of lily pad until I feel this is still serving me or not serving me anymore.

Lisa Hopkins: 26:35

I'm so curious, like with your gig now I get the sense that there's kind of a more normal nine to five kind of feeling about it.

Hanako Greensmith: 26:44

Yes, it is the corporate job of the acting industry.

Lisa Hopkins: 26:48

Yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 26:49

Like kind of in a beautiful way, because you still get to do what you love but you have the luxuries of stability that you don't often get. We're lucky enough that we're even on a show that we can trust. Usually at the end of a season we'll get another one. It's been around for so long. It's a well-oiled machine, like even a day on set. We all know where everything's going to be, how long it's going to take more or less where we're going to shoot it, what the atmosphere will be like. So there's something really familiar about it and therefore very steady.

Lisa Hopkins: 27:18

Yeah, that makes sense. So in that comfort do you find that you're able to start to grow and build some of those inner resources, so that not because there's going to be a storm, but just so that you can take your time to evolve in?

Hanako Greensmith: 27:34

it. Yeah. Yeah, I think it challenges me in a bunch of separate ways that I hope prepares me for the future, but one of them being I'm learning how to come to set a little less incredibly prepared. I had a really big emotional story arc at the beginning of last season and I was incredibly intimidated by it. It was truly Hanako's greatest fear of having to execute something of that nature on a camera, having actually had to do it and realizing when the moment came I realized I'd actually already done all the work. I've been with this character for a while. I know her needs, I know her wants, I know her why's, and so when I came to set, being able to trust that it will show up for me was a huge learning lesson, and that's just one of the lessons that I feel like I've been able to take away from this gig, from this work.

Lisa Hopkins: 28:26

I'm going to ask you to put humility aside, yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 28:29

Okay For a minute.

Lisa Hopkins: 28:29

I know that's hard to do, I know, and just really I just want you to tell me what would you say are your unique gifts?

Hanako Greensmith: 28:38

no-transcript. You know it's funny. I think the thing that I used to be kind of critiqued for almost when I was little was for being very sensitive. Like I was the kid. I would always get a call home like Hanako was crying in class again today and I would have to go home and be like, please, stop crying in school. And as I grew up I realized, you know, that was the thing I was really embarrassed by. I really I really struggled with not being able to like put my emotions away, and especially ones of you know grief or fear and I think over time I have learned how to sympathize with others and characters in a way, because I have had no choice but to be so connected to this like overflowing emotional well that I feel like is such a part of me and I think that's maybe, maybe, to put it simply, empathy. Empathy is one thing that I feel like is one unique gift of mine that I have interacted with for a lot of my life. That's the first thing that comes to mind.

Lisa Hopkins: 29:40

What else comes to mind? What are you holding back?

Hanako Greensmith: 29:42

Come on, I'm trying to think I'm like, what else do I feel like? Well, okay, I think I really love to connect to other people. I love feeling a part of a community. It's huge for my just overall health to feel like I have a community. I think like coming into a project and feeling like I can really make family out of who I am with makes for such a work. But also in your life, to make other people feel wanted, to make other people feel desired, to make them feel like there's a reason for other people to be curious about them.

Hanako Greensmith: 30:13

I love being in, I love, you know, questioning other people and getting to know other people. I think that's one other gift of mine and I think it seems very it can be very broad, but I think even as a kid I felt creativity is such a huge part of the world around me. I do feel at this moment of my life I'm not expressing myself as creatively as I want to, but at the same time I do feel like I see creativity everywhere I go and other people and the things they wear and the food we eat, like in the air we breathe. There's so much beautiful art everywhere if you really just take a second to sit with it, and I think that's like one unique gift of perspective that I have found in myself in the past few years.

Lisa Hopkins: 31:01

Yeah, I love that. That's really beautiful. It makes me want to ask you what would you want to do creatively that you're not doing right now?

Hanako Greensmith: 31:11

I think, like I have so many friends who are so good at just and I don't think you have to make anything to be creative but who are just, they have that creative fire in them, whether it's like I'm going to do, I'm going to paint today, I'm going to crochet today I'm going to go compose a song, I'm going to learn the guitar, like there's so many ways that you can participate in creativity that don't have to be that, but that's, I think, one way in which, again, like I wish I could like, I feel like when I was younger, I was so good at expressing myself through that and as you get older, society kind of beats it out of you.

Hanako Greensmith: 31:43

I remember, like in math class I would get in trouble because I'd be doodling instead of paying attention, and I'm realizing that's when I stopped drawing, like that's when the world told me there's no space for that, there are more important things. And so, getting back to that element of just, this childlike curiosity for creativity and this need for artistry, I miss that. It's like how Picasso as problematic as he was, picasso, trying to spend so much of his life trying to draw like a child, there's a reason why it becomes very difficult as you get older.

Lisa Hopkins: 32:13

Yeah, no, it's so interesting. There's a hunger there that's not being fed and it's interesting because the emptiness, right, the hunger I feel like and again, this is conjecture, so you can totally jump back at me and say, no, that's not it, but at least it'll which is being filled with. Again, all these again calling you kind of excuses, because when I asked you, I gave you the opportunity to say what you want to do, to be creative. You said you started telling me about all the other people. You started really what you were talking about was I wish I could have my on ramp. Yeah, I think that it was easier, but you weren't even thinking about the thing, right, and I asked you about the thing which is interesting. So I just want to point that out.

Hanako Greensmith: 32:58

There's no judgment no, no, no. Thanks for pointing it out and you're absolutely right.

Lisa Hopkins: 33:02

Do you know. And then the other is like that sort of again massive limiting belief about, well, you know, just they, you know, they beat it out of you that you're like it's, come on, I don't believe you, and I know how multi-talented you are and it's not about talent, but nevertheless, if you got it, you got it and you do. Do you know what I mean? Like I mean, I know that you're and I can do this with you because I know you, but you know you're, you're extraordinarily creative, like I know that, and there's probably masses of areas of that you where you could put that that aren't so specific to what people expect. Like you know, you're probably expecting me to go oh yeah, you mean singing and dancing and all the things I'm trained for and I'll well, yeah, sure, but maybe it's something else, maybe it's, maybe it's, you know, living your life creatively.

Hanako Greensmith: 33:59

Yeah, totally. I mean, even as you said it, I realized, like I, I moved into a new home this year and I spent so much time being hard on myself for spending so much time making my home beautiful and now I'm like, well, that was a form of creative Like I got to choose. For the first time ever, I got to choose the colors that I wanted to be surrounded by and all the artwork that I wanted to see when I woke up in the day, and the texture I wanted to feel like. All of that, you're right, that's creativity too 100%, 100%.

Hanako Greensmith: 34:26

Yeah, I love that. Thank you for calling me up. I appreciate it. You're always welcome to do that.

Lisa Hopkins: 34:30

Yeah, no, it's my pleasure, it's what I do. Well, it is funny if you take, if you take the word create creativity and you move the sea, or vice versa. I prefer to do it the other way, but it becomes reactivity. Ooh love that.

Hanako Greensmith: 34:47

Yeah, yes absolutely Whatever.

Lisa Hopkins: 34:49

You feel unreactive, man, just move that sea to the front. Yeah, okay, all right. What is your definition of living in the moment?

Hanako Greensmith: 34:59

I think living in the moment is, like we said earlier. I think it's giving yourself grace, I think it's experiencing all of the creativity around you in that present moment. I think it's sitting with what is happening within you and being okay with what is happening within you.

Lisa Hopkins: 35:14

Yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 35:14

I think I struggle with that for sure. I'm constantly being reminded by my friends and family well, mainly my friends that I'm perpetually anxious about the future and nostalgic for the past, even when. I'm seeing a perfectly lovely moment.

Lisa Hopkins: 35:29

Do you feel like you're in the moment right now?

Hanako Greensmith: 35:31

Yeah, I feel like having this conversation with you is putting me back in the center, putting me back in place.

Lisa Hopkins: 35:37

That's very cool. That's very, very cool. Hey, what's the hardest thing you've ever done?

Hanako Greensmith: 35:44

Oh man, so many things come to mind. Yeah, I think one of the hardest things I've ever done was probably I was in a six year relationship with a very lovely person and we're still close. But the hardest thing I've ever done was prioritizing myself and sitting with what was true and lovingly detaching from something that I held so much identity with. I think in recent memory that's one of the hardest things I've done.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:13

Yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 36:15

Other than that too, but I think that also embodies that time that I think was very difficult.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:19

So what was it about you that was able to do that?

Hanako Greensmith: 36:27

I think it was recognizing my needs and wants and recognizing also my partner's needs and wants at that time and knowing that they were not synced and knowing that we weren't allowing space for growth for each other, to know what it was that we truly wanted to be, and so I think coming to terms with that it was very difficult, but having the capacity to finally do it and separate myself so I felt independent, I felt like my own person gave me the space to come to those recognitions.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:56

Yeah, and you just used the word capacity, which is kind of what I was getting at, because you talk about how that's important to you for whatever reason to really end. So you were not living in your full capacity, connected to say your values, in this case perhaps right, it doesn't even matter what it is, but it's something that was not, something was not. You weren't living to your fullest capacity, not like again, necessarily with the person or whatever, but with your truth, with your truth.

Hanako Greensmith: 37:25

Absolutely.

Lisa Hopkins: 37:26

Yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 37:27

Yeah, I think that's absolutely right, that's awesome and it's good to remember that, because that's where we mine our strengths. We remember things that were really hard and difficult and all of that. But the fact that you're here telling me a story or telling yourself the story that you can remember, you can sit and remember and reflect on the nostalgia of good and bad in the past, or you can also take things from that and bring them to the present and apply them to now, so it becomes a bit of a sieve, so you can sort of say what was it about me that was able to do that? Like that was a strength, not like holy shit, I got through it. And then it's just another story and there was drama and there was fire and this was story. Do you know what I mean? But it's like, yeah, but if you can focus it back on on like yeah, figuring out what's in you and reminding your brain that no, that wasn't my toolkit, you're gonna find your values there and you're gonna find your tools and your strengths.

Hanako Greensmith: 38:27

Yes, yes, Thank you for that reminder, Absolutely Thinking about. Yeah, it's a nice reminder to remember I'm capable of this, I've done it before and I can do it again.

Lisa Hopkins: 38:37

Hell yeah, hell yeah. No 100%. I love that. Hey, what big, audacious goal or dream do you have that maybe you haven't even put out in the universe?

Hanako Greensmith: 38:46

Ooh, okay, one goal I have for myself. Well, it's kind of materialistic, this first one. I've always, always, always wanted to be able to purchase my own cabin in a forest by a body of water Going back to my corny homestead. Nature dreams, but-.

Lisa Hopkins: 39:04

That's not corny.

Hanako Greensmith: 39:05

that's not corny, it's funny I just remember I was so jealous of the kids who had that growing up and all I've ever wanted was just to have my own escape. I don't wanna have to Airbnb or rent. I wanna go somewhere familiar and beautiful and also unfamiliar, because nature is forever changing and be able to call that mine.

Lisa Hopkins: 39:23

What do you know will stay true about you, no matter what happens? Ooh.

Hanako Greensmith: 39:30

See, first things that come to mind are all negative things.

Lisa Hopkins: 39:34

Oh, wow.

Hanako Greensmith: 39:35

Yeah, yeah, the first thing that will stay true to me. My first instinct is, like I will always have to kind of like manage my own particular mania, like I will always kind of have to be sheriffing my own intensity when it comes to my own cyclical thoughts. I guess, wow, yeah, but I wanna find it positive. I think the thing that will remain true is that I will always I think it will always be yearning to cultivate a community. I think that's true. I've noticed that in my life, the saddest parts of my life are the moments where I felt totally community-less, where I didn't feel like I had people to call a try or people to go to. And so I think, forever in my life I will wanna prioritize being able to be independent, on my own but also know that it's gonna be really important for me to have people that I call close around me in some capacity.

Lisa Hopkins: 40:28

I love that. This is really beautiful. So can you finish this phrase? Most people think Hanukkah Greensmith is, but the truth is.

Hanako Greensmith: 40:39

I mean, I feel like this isn't doing justice to the question, but I think my go-to answer is I think people assume that I'm very outgoing because I like to interact with people, I'm friendly, community, whatever. I think I'm very introspective and therefore actually like to spend. It's kind of a strange economy, but I like to spend time on my own. It's really important that I spend time on my own, actually as difficult as I find it to be sometimes. That's like my first level answer, I guess.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:12

Yeah, no, that's fair. How do you wanna be remembered?

Hanako Greensmith: 41:16

Ooh, how do I wanna be remembered.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:18

Yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 41:20

I wanna be remembered to the people I mean.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:24

I don't know.

Hanako Greensmith: 41:25

This is the first thing that came to my head. I wanna be remembered as someone who loved you To the people that I care about. Of course yeah, I hope they know that. That's how.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:36

I wanna be remembered. That's really beautiful. Yeah, that was amazing, Even just the way you answered the question was you just jumped into. This is what first came to there was no rehearsal there was no wearing yourself that, you just tapped in, you were just like, and then, when you said it, it was as if you were saying it to me, like it was so real.

Hanako Greensmith: 41:59

I'm glad, yeah, it's. Yeah. I'm realizing in this conversation. It showed me that I don't actually usually listen to my first instinct. I first always question it and then have to kind of belittle it somehow before then executing it.

Lisa Hopkins: 42:13

Yeah. So, I could talk to you all day long, but I guess I gotta do okay. So I'm gonna say what makes you Okay. Then you're just gonna say what comes to mind. So I'm gonna say a word. Here's, for example I'm gonna say what makes you hungry.

Hanako Greensmith: 42:34

Oh, food. Yeah, I think what makes me hungry is can I give you long answers or short answers? You can give whatever you want. Okay, yeah, I mean, I love food. Food makes me so happy. Connecting with people over a good meal, making food for people, having food made for you, experiencing a candlelit dinner or experiencing brunch and getting boozy and enjoying each other in that capacity yeah, that makes me hungry.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:03

Wow, that was beautiful. That was visceral. I felt that that was great. What makes you sad?

Hanako Greensmith: 43:10

Disappointment in both myself and others. Hurting grief, I think, Nostalgia, missing things that have already passed and will come back again.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:24

That's interesting, but I'm gonna refrain from jumping in there. That's really cool. What inspires you?

Hanako Greensmith: 43:34

People power, bravery, courage, risks jumping into the unknown. Yeah, I think all of those things.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:45

And when you feel inspired what do you do? How does that shift your energy?

Hanako Greensmith: 43:50

Oh, I feel it like right here, I feel it in my chest, like this really bright light that sort of glow, this yellow, all-encompassing power. I feel inspired. Yeah, to feel motivated, to feel connected to something outside of yourself. Yeah, to feel invigorated in what it is that you love.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:10

I love that. How often do you feel that?

Hanako Greensmith: 44:13

Ooh. It's kind of rare nowadays, but sometimes when I watch, like if I see a piece of theater that I think really clicks into something, that makes me feel a part of what that is that they're saying, that makes me feel so inspired just to be invested in the piece and also just fall back in love with what I originally fell in love with in acting.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:35

Yeah, yeah. Do you think you'll go back to musical theater?

Hanako Greensmith: 44:41

I don't know it would take, I think, something special. I think I became very disillusioned by musical theater in the past couple of years. I just felt like there was so much I was inspired by, like when I was a teenager, just thinking could I ever do this? I wanna try it. And then I think the industry kind of shifted a little bit and I just didn't see a version of myself anywhere and I just didn't feel like fighting for it anymore. I just didn't. Yeah, I didn't feel like that was serving me. It didn't inspire me to have to fight to be seen in spaces that I didn't feel made sense for me. Finding other places that did feels better for right now. But if that door opened again, I would not close it, nor would I walk by it. I would hopefully walk into it.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:23

I love that. Yeah, so it's a possibility. Yeah, yeah. What frustrates you?

Hanako Greensmith: 45:29

Ooh, my first thing that throws myself. I feel like I, like you said earlier, I feel like I victimize, or I victimize myself a lot and I put myself in the way a lot, so I think that's the first thing that frustrates me. I won't often be frustrated with someone else in the situation I sure could be, but most of the time I'm frustrated with how I'm reacting to it, as opposed to what it is that they might have done.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:52

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, cool, what makes you laugh?

Hanako Greensmith: 45:57

Oh, what makes me laugh? Oh man, I just anything kind of. I've always found slapstick humor really funny and I think sharing moments with someone where you're kind of at the same level of understanding what it is that's so funny, that is the thing that'll keep me rolling and rolling and rolling until after. It's like each wave will come and kind of take you over. That kind of keeps me, keeps me laughing for a while.

Lisa Hopkins: 46:20

I love that. That's such a great feeling, right, it's just like so yeah, yeah.

Hanako Greensmith: 46:24

Yes, yeah, I'm struggling to breathe because you're having so much fun. Oh my God.

Lisa Hopkins: 46:29

Yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that. That's amazing. What makes you angry?

Hanako Greensmith: 46:36

Again myself. I think the frustration and the anger kind of go hand in hand.

Hanako Greensmith: 46:40

But I also think I think feeling belittled is another thing that makes me feel really angry. I think seeing people that I love being belittled or not being respected or not being given the rights that they so deserve, just by being a human being on this planet, that makes me angry. It makes you want to protect them, and when I know that there's so little I can really do to protect them, it makes me more angry, but in a way that makes me feel like sorrowful and angry.

Lisa Hopkins: 47:09

Yeah, and finally, what makes you grateful?

Hanako Greensmith: 47:15

That makes me grateful, All of the wonderful people in my life, all of the incredible luck that I have experienced. I would be a fool to not know that so much of what I have is because I just got lucky in this life and I'm really, really grateful and I'm grateful that I have enough perspective to know to be grateful.

Lisa Hopkins: 47:36

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. That's beautiful. What are the top three things that happen so far today?

Hanako Greensmith: 47:46

Oh, I would say I talked to a friend. She's in a time of need. That made me really happy, not for her, but to be able to be someone that is helpful to her. Talking to my mom and she's kind of she's a violinist but she hasn't really worked in a long time but she's working right now in Italy and I'm really happy for her and that made me really happy to hear my mom be busy. And the third thing is my family is a really nice coffee maker and I made myself a really good Americana.

Lisa Hopkins: 48:24

I love it. Let's be real right.

Hanako Greensmith: 48:26

Yeah, I'm kind of great coffee before I got here, so yeah, oh, that's amazing.

Lisa Hopkins: 48:30

I love it. And what's something you're looking forward to, both in like today and then so in the future?

Hanako Greensmith: 48:39

Today. I'm looking forward to being okay with the fact that I am tired today, so I'm going to do little errands that make me feel productive but don't deplete me. Not getting in a car and, I think, more long term, just for, I think, the summer. I'm looking forward to getting past this speed bump and putting myself in a situation that I alone desperately want and need, which is to just get out of a city and to be one with my mind and to experience just being with it, being with nature in a way that I haven't been in a really long time.

Lisa Hopkins: 49:13

After this conversation.

Hanako Greensmith: 49:13

I'm going to prioritize it.

Lisa Hopkins: 49:15

I love it. I love it.

Hanako Greensmith: 49:17

Thank you for inspiring me.

Lisa Hopkins: 49:19

Yeah, no listen. I can't thank you enough for joining me and taking the time to do this.

Hanako Greensmith: 49:23

This was an absolute joy and I'm not surprised in any way, but I'm just. I am really grateful that you invited me to be here with you. I loved every second.

Lisa Hopkins: 49:33

So did I Listen? I've been speaking today with Hanako Greensmith. Thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment. In music, stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison, supporting the soloists to express their individuality In the moment. I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time, I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening.