Turning Guilt into Energy: Strategies for Managing Unmet Commitments and Embracing Self-Compassion

Feeling like guilt is your constant companion for tasks left undone? Imagine transforming that guilt into a renewable energy source. In this episode, we tackle the emotional burden of unmet commitments and offer practical strategies to break free from its draining cycle. We promise you'll learn how to draw awareness to these feelings, understand the mental loops you’re stuck in, and adopt a high-energy mindset that lets you either take action or be at peace with inaction. 

Join us as we share personal anecdotes about missed deadlines and the self-compassion needed to move forward without self-judgment. By checking in with your limiting beliefs and why certain tasks matter to you, we'll guide you to a healthier relationship with your to-do list. This episode is your resource for prioritizing self-care and realistic goal-setting, all while maintaining your energy and well-being. Tune in and discover how to breathe in positive energy and let go of the negative, empowering you to give yourself the grace you truly deserve.

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Transcript

Lisa Hopkins: 0:23

Hey there, how much time have you spent lately feeling guilty for not doing something that you said you were going to do? Think about it. I'm going to ask again how much energy are you spending right now, or have you spent recently, giving yourself a hard time about not doing something that you said you were going to do? It could be clearing your inbox on your email. It could be writing the next chapter of your book. Maybe it's calling that friend that you haven't called in a long time, or giving yourself the self-care that you really want.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:06

How many of you are holding on to some guilt around not doing what you said you wanted to do? Well, if you're like me, then you're absolutely not alone. This happens all the time, and the key to breaking the cycle is to draw awareness around when it's happening in the moment, right? So how do you draw awareness around where you're spending energy? Well, first of all, we stop to listen, to listen to what is streaming in your head. Imagine that your brain is like I don't know Netflix, right, and that it's a streaming service streaming the programs running the same program over and over again. What is running in your mind that is draining you right now? How much energy are you spending, feeling badly about not doing something that you said you wanted to do? Well, first of all, guys, I want you to take this moment and take a deep breath in all guys, I want you to take this moment and take a deep breath in, hold it at the top and exhale with a sigh or whatever kind of sound you want and just let it go. Just let go. I want you to do that again and I want you to draw in great energy and breathe out any excess negative energy. All right, here we go, breathing in and just letting it go. So I'm going to ask you again what have you been holding on to that you'd like to let go of? What's something that you have not done that you said you wanted to do, that you'd like to let go of what's something that you have not done that you said you wanted to do, that you'd like to just acknowledge now that you haven't done and you're okay with that. I'd like you to identify that I'll share.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:20

I had a deadline I wanted to make and it was yesterday, and, as yesterday started nearing an end, I kept saying to myself no, no, I'll do it, I'll get there. I'll do it towards the end of the night and so on and so forth. And, like most things, things get in the way. And I had done it really consistently. It was a schedule I had set for myself and as time started to sort of you know end, towards the end of the day, I started to acknowledge and let go that I'm okay with not doing it. I'm okay with not doing it Because, you see, when I procrastinate or when I say that no, no, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, I just increase the guilt factor, right?

Lisa Hopkins: 4:09

So it's important to get realistic and sometimes we just don't have the energy to do the thing that we do want to do and I wanted to do it, but I just didn't have the energy to do it. So I checked in with myself and I asked myself what are the limiting beliefs here I have about if I don't do it? And it's amazing, the stories that were streaming in my head and they were silly, they were fictional. I created this story that people are sitting around waiting for me to launch, when I said I was going to launch. And you know, because I've done it before and I always do it, but listen, sometimes and I'm modeling it here today.

Lisa Hopkins: 4:57

Sometimes it's important to give yourself grace without guilt. Grace without guilt, it's not an excuse, it's not a sort of weak acknowledgement of, oh, it's okay, I need it, I'm not feeling well or I'm tired, or okay, no, it's actually a high energy. You know what? I'm okay and I'm going to be okay, whether I do it or whether I don't. And the best way that I can take care of myself ergo have enough energy to either do it or enough energy to feel okay with not doing it is to ask myself why it's important to me. To ask myself why it's important to me and what's the worst case scenario? What stories do I have in my head that will simply not be truths? How much energy have you spent recently on something that you said you wanted to do but you didn't? If you were to decide with intention not to do it, you would save yourself so much energy.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:25

This is the cure to procrastination. Actually, right Is to check in and narrow that gap between no, I might do it, I might do it right. Where you fill it. Fill it with all these lies and all this guilt, because the more you don't do it, the more guilty you feel. You're not engaging in the life that you're doing and you're not engaging in anything. You're not doing the thing and you're also not engaging in whatever it is you're doing when you're not doing the thing. It's the definition of spiraling, of spinning, of getting stuck on the same episode over and over again.

Lisa Hopkins: 7:07

So when you find yourself stuck here, check in with yourself, get realistic and set a new intention, and that intention is up to you. The intention could be I'm not going to do it this evening, and I'm okay with that, and I'm going to focus on what I'm doing now and have more energy tomorrow, and then you've got to be okay with that. So you've got to really stay true to what you've decided and honor your decision. No guilt can live in there. Okay, now, if the guilt is going to consume you, well then the best thing to do is to say I'm going to get rid of my guilt Now. Getting rid of your guilt has suddenly become the goal rather than doing the thing. Isn't that ironic? So you might check in with yourself first and say what's more important doing the thing wholeheartedly and doing it well, or getting rid of the guilt? It's a good question to ask yourself. You're going to discover some things.

Lisa Hopkins: 8:15

When you ask these questions, you guys, the point is, at the end of the day, we all make choices. We all make choices, and when you push yourself, when you push yourself to do something, when you really don't feel energized to do it, and then you end up not doing it, well then you double the indemnity, right? I mean, it's torture. So check in with yourself. Don't waste any time creating new stories about I'll do it later, or make false promises about no, no, I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it, and then spend the next day, when you haven't done it, feeling guilty and wasting more time. Get clear, make a decision. Get clear, make a decision. It's perfectly okay to decide not to do it in that moment and then move forward accordingly.

Lisa Hopkins: 9:18

It's so important, you guys, to live in the moment, and each moment is different. We are diverse beings with diversity of thought and diversity of energy, and once we learn how to tune into that and to figure out what frequency, what channel where we're resonating, that's when we become the most effective, that's when we become the most inspired. That's when we become the most inspired. That's when we become the most centered. So I didn't do the thing. I chose not to do the thing and I had a glorious evening. I had a glorious evening in spite of the fact that I did not meet my deadline. Meet my deadline and I'm okay with that, because out of that, once I let go of any guilt, so many possibilities turned up, including what I'm sharing with you right now. So, guys, give yourselves grace, set your intentions, reset your intentions. Do not hold yourself hostage by your intentions, and remember to live in the moment. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Stay safe and healthy. Everyone, thanks so much for listening. You got this. Let's go.