💡 Coaching Insights: Breaking Free From the Script Others Wrote For You

We explore how easily we can lose ourselves in others' expectations and how anchoring into our purpose—our why—can transform everything from writing to living authentically.

• Your "why" serves as the anchor in everything you do
• When you connect to your purpose, the "how" naturally reveals itself
• We are contextual beings, different in every moment and circumstance 
• Our "best self" looks different day to day, and that's perfectly normal
• We often overshadow ourselves with our strengths because others expect it and "it works"
• Developing a language to express our effective states could transform creative teamwork
• Purpose isn't something to pressure yourself to find—it's a natural evolution of what lights you up

This is your reminder that your best is allowed to look different every day. Let's dive in.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Purpose and Expectations
• 1:30 Why as the Anchor in Life
• 2:38 The Contextual Nature of Being Human
• 3:59 Dream of New Language for Creative Teams
• 4:51 Breaking Free from Default Behaviors

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hey there. This week's Insight started with a conversation about writing, but quickly became about something much deeper. In this moment from a recent coaching session, we explore how easily we can lose ourselves in the expectations of others and how, anchoring into our why, our purpose can shift everything. If you've ever felt the pressure to show up a certain way because it's what others expect, or even what you expect of yourself, this is your reminder that your best is allowed to look different every day. Let's dive in.

Speaker 2: 0:59

I would have said the same thing, but not about writing, but about living. I mean, just think about what you just said and think about life and think about right Living, based on the notes that you get from others about the way they think you should be living, because they care about you or they care about the story, or blah, blah, blah, yeah. And if you forget your why, or if you don't have your why or haven't stopped long enough to understand that you deserve a why and we all have one, right? You know, um, and it's it's ever evolving, so it's not like suddenly you're going to clear the decks and oh, there it is.

Speaker 2: 1:36

You know, there are a lot of people who are like I don't know, I don't have a purpose, and then they get freaked out and then the goal becomes I have to have a purpose as opposed to right. You know what I mean as opposed to. You know what I mean as opposed to actually, like you know, exploring and, and, and, and finding, finding what, what lights you up, and so on and so forth. So I just want to say what you said was like textbook about life.

Speaker 3: 1:59

Oh, I love that. I mean, that makes sense, because it's it's always about the why.

Speaker 1: 2:03

Always.

Speaker 3: 2:04

Why is anchor?

Speaker 2: 2:05

in everything, because if you have the why, then you can go about the how there we go.

Speaker 3: 2:11

Oh, I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2: 2:15

The how depends on the why yeah, because and and the how is is just where you actually. You know you get practical, you make choices and you know you figure it out. But if you're connected to your why, then the how reveals itself and it's easier to choose, because there's an infinite ways of how to do things. How you would do it would be different than me. How you would do it today is going to be different than how you would do it tomorrow, next month, exactly. You know it's so contextual and you know, I think we as humans, we are contextual, like, yes, we are in different contexts, but we are also ourselves different in every moment, and I think that's so important to know.

Speaker 3: 2:58

Completely. Every relationship, every circumstance, every setting like. We're different, but we. That doesn't mean we're any less of who we are. It's just like you, Correct?

Speaker 2: 3:08

And we're also different in the same circumstances, we're still different. This is work I do. My dream is to work with creative teams going on a project, right, Like. Imagine going into a movie set, say, and everybody could have a language where they could speak and connect to how they're going to be the most effective that day, that hour, in this scene, as opposed to always being expected by self and by others.

Speaker 2: 3:36

You were hired to do this. This is what you're good at. You need to do it now, but you're contextualized right, so you'll be able to pull it out because, yes, you can do that, but your best is not going to look the same today as it did yesterday. Necessarily, it might, but it's always going to be slightly different. Now we overshadow ourselves with our strengths because, A people expect us to show up that way and B we like showing up that way because it works Right way, and B we like showing up that way because it's you know it works. But what about all the other aspects of us that when, when, it's more difficult to to do that, you know? And so my dream is that we all have a language that we can speak, where it takes something as intangible as perception and make it tangible so that you can identify whether you're choosing it consciously or by default because you're used to it. That is fascinating, Right yeah.