💡 Is It Perfectionism or Fear of Failing That Holds You Back?

The perfectionism trap claims countless creative works before they ever see the light of day. What begins as high standards often morphs into crippling self-doubt that prevents us from finishing projects or sharing our gifts with the world.

This transformative conversation explores the crucial difference between value-driven high standards and fear-based perfectionism. When we create from integrity rather than fear, we focus on what's within our control—our effort, intention, and commitment—rather than obsessing over others' potential judgments. As one profound insight reveals: "You can't control what people say, but you can control your integrity."

The discussion unpacks how our desire for dignity and positive perception can actually work against us when it becomes our primary motivation. Instead, by recognizing that nothing is ever truly "finished" and that perfection is an illusion, we free ourselves to complete meaningful work. This shift from external validation to internal values doesn't mean lowering our standards—it means creating from a place of authenticity rather than anxiety.

Perhaps most powerfully, the conversation reframes "letting go" not as something we reluctantly do, but something we "get to" do—a conscious choice made with gratitude. This perspective transforms creative challenges from burdens into opportunities for growth and expression. When we release our grip on controlling others' perceptions, we discover the freedom to create boldly and finish what we start.

Whether you're working on a book, a business, or any creative pursuit, this episode offers practical wisdom to break through perfectionism and find joy in the creating process itself. What might you accomplish if you stopped holding yourself back?

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Transcript

Creative Fears and Finishing Work

Speaker 1 0:23

I think that's a really common thing. I know that's a really common thing for creative people and people in general to hold themselves back because they're afraid it won't be good enough. And I think there's a limiting belief there about well finishing. I mean, nothing's ever really finished right? If I let that come in as my primary thought pattern, I wouldn't have finished the book right. I mean, if I like let that come in as my primary thought pattern, I wouldn't have finished the book right? We all have that. I mean it's interesting because I wonder if you have a and anybody really, as you guys are listening to this the distinction between high standards and the value of doing good work versus being good enough. Do you see how they're very different and yet so similar?

Speaker 2 1:12

I'd never thought about it that way, Because I do have. I think I have high standards.

Speaker 1 1:19

But that's a value, right, like I could say. I could ask you why is that important to you? You have high standards. That's not, I'm sure, because you want to be hard on yourself. It's because what?

Speaker 2 1:31

Because some things are important to me. My dignity is important to me, and the way that people perceive me is important to me.

Speaker 1 1:50

Integrity I guess that's the word I'm looking for. Yes, that's integrity is yes, that's screaming loud and strong. And it's interesting because it took you a while to get there, because when you first said it, you know well, because I care about you didn't say my reputation, dignity, you said you know I care about my dignity. That implies that you'd somehow lose your dignity if you you know what I mean if you didn't do it well, which is interesting. So that's fear-based, right, I get it, we all do. We all want to be dignified, we all want to be respected in the world, right. But that can be fear-based and that can really get in the way. A conscious-based thing, which is integrity, which is something that you control and nobody else does. You can control that. So there's no need to be fearful of not being good enough if you know that you're going to give it your best, because you can't control the rest. You can't control what people say.

Speaker 2 2:41

Right and that is something that I am learning very much, especially in the last year is I don't have control over anybody else, so I just need to let it go 100%, just let it go.

Speaker 1 3:08

You want to let it go, right, and when you want to let it go, it's like I get to, which is choice with gratitude. Just let it go Right. Go for it. Not because Lisa told you to, you know, not because you're going, I'm going to let go. You're just because you get to.

Speaker 2 3:23

Right, it's like you have.