Dreams Are Possible: Susie Carroll Living a Full Life On & Off Stage

"Dreams are possible." These three simple words capture the essence of Susie Carroll's extraordinary journey from a determined 10-year-old in Utah to a Broadway performer in hit shows like Back to the Future, Mean Girls, and The Prom.

In this heartfelt conversation, Susie reveals the beautiful paradox at the core of her success: while adult Susie battles perfectionism, young Susie possessed a fearlessness that propelled her forward without doubt. "Little Susie had way less doubts than Susie does now," she reflects, describing how she'd ask her mom at age 10 if they could leave Utah for New York because "I think I should be on Broadway."

That early certainty carried her to Pace University and eventually to Broadway, where she's thrived in the demanding role of a "swing" – covering multiple ensemble roles simultaneously. This position, which Susie calls "the best thing that could have happened to me," has become her greatest teacher in balancing meticulous preparation with the flexibility to embrace inevitable imperfections.

Beyond the spotlight, Susie shares her evolution in creating a sustainable life in New York. After experiencing the stark emptiness when shows close, she's cultivated what she calls a "pie chart" of fulfillment – building community, diverse work opportunities, and meaningful connections that sustain her regardless of her performance schedule. Her infectious optimism isn't naive; it's earned through hard work and conscious choice: "I work really hard to make those things true, while also living a very full life of all different emotions."

Whether you're pursuing creative dreams or seeking more authenticity in your life, Susie's insights on forward motion, perfectionism, and creating a balanced life will inspire you to embrace both the challenge and joy of pursuing what lights you up. As Susie demonstrates, sometimes our childhood certainty holds wisdom our adult doubts try to obscure.

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Chapters

• 0:47 Introduction to Susie Carroll
• 3:46 Childhood Dreams of New York
• 7:35 The Value of Forward Motion
• 15:51 Battling Perfectionism
• 22:02 Life as a Broadway Swing
• 28:00 Finding Balance Beyond Performance
• 34:35 Gratitude and Future Dreams
• 41:50 Rapid Fire Questions

Transcript

Lisa Hopkins: 0:24

This is the Stop Time Podcast. I'm your host, lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought-provoking, motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at. Today's guest is someone I've had the absolute pleasure of teaching during her time in the commercial dance and musical theater program at Pace University. She is a radiant talent who was most recently seen lighting up the Broadway stage in Back to the Future. Her other Broadway credits include the Prom and Mean Girls and she's also graced the screen on the Tonight Show SNL Blue Bloods. Most recently, she performed in the Saturday Night Live 50th, which must have been really fun. From a little girl with big dreams to a performer living a wild and beautiful life, my next guest is living proof that dreams really are possible. I couldn't be more excited really to reconnect with and introduce you to, susie Carroll. Susie, welcome to the show.

Susie Carroll: 1:32

Thank you, that was so kind, thank you.

Lisa Hopkins: 1:34

It's, it's, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You know, when you sent me your bio it says so much about you, and part of it is because I know I know you a little bit. But even if I didn't know you, I think I would feel this way. So I'm just going to share with you, which is that you know you had a few of your credits or whatever, and then you had this beautiful line right. Little Susie couldn't even begin to imagine this wild and beautiful life. Dreams are possible.

Susie Carroll: 2:02

Yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:04

It's beautiful.

Susie Carroll: 2:05

Thanks. I've really been actually thinking about like. I've like it's been a lot recently where I've just been like there's been many moments where I've stopped my track and like I really like that. You know, on the hard days it's like no, they're the I know it's kind of cliche because everyone kind of it's not unheard of but like I've been really thinking about my little self of like no, but literally she would be like you know, I wanted to do exactly this my whole entire life, so it's pretty cool.

Lisa Hopkins: 2:31

That is really cool, and it's funny because it's it's also a little bit intriguing to me and so maybe we can dig in there. I mean, why not? Which is that like? Well, what doubts did little Susie have? Because when you, when you sort of position it as she never would have dreamed, is it beyond what she ever would have imagined? I'm curious.

Susie Carroll: 2:50

Well, it's funny actually, I guess. I mean maybe she would have dreamed. Maybe I'm saying it wrong, maybe she would have dreamed, but I just think that it's like it does feel beyond the wildest dreams, but I don't think it's. Honestly, in my personal opinion, little Susie had way way less doubts than Susie does now. She was way more fearless. I mean I, you know, like I still feel like fearless is something I kind of still, can, you know, take on. But she was way more like I mean I was.

Susie Carroll: 3:21

I knew I wanted to go move to New York City when I was like 10. And I would ask my mom at like age 10, I'd be like, can we like, can we get out of here? I grew up in Utah. It's like, can we get out of here, let's go? Like I think it's time, like I think I'm like should be on Broadway. And so my mom was always like, no, wait, you know what I mean. Like you know, it was just not in the cards for my family, um, and thank goodness I waited, but that's where Pace University came open door, where I can get to myself to New York city, and that was Pace, you know, audition for schools. And Pace university was, you know, my first way to be like okay, I can make this New York dream a reality, wow.

Lisa Hopkins: 3:57

So talk to me. What did you know about New York, had you been to New York?

Susie Carroll: 4:02

I had. I mean, my parents were very generous in that way where I was so obsessed with it that, like my, the first time I ever came to New York it was my 13th birthday and that was like I trip with my parents and they were like they took me to shows my first. I actually think it's hilarious. My first ever Broadway show I saw was American idiot and I think my parents were like what, what? This is what we're doing? And I was like yes, this is awesome, like something about you know, just there's like that edgy punk rockery show that I was just like this is awesome.

Susie Carroll: 4:30

You know that secured the bug and my whole family they work in health insurance Like they don't have any idea what theater is. So I went home and, you know, got on the computer and found that there was a summer program I could do. I was just like constantly finding like how can I you know, you know, practice this craft? And again, my parents were very generous and and and helping me with that and supporting me through that. So I would come to New York every summer and then New York city college was the first time I lived here.

Lisa Hopkins: 5:02

So take me all the way back to, to the beginning, beginning when you started dancing. What did you see? What was your inspiration?

Susie Carroll: 5:09

My mom put me in dance class when I was really little, like I was like dancing when I was like three and really loved it. And then again my parents, my family didn't really know the world at all, you know really, but my mom always wanted us to, you know, be very well-rounded. So we were in everything I did soccer and all sorts of different things, and my dad really didn't like it at the time. He was very much so like I don't know, like I don't want, cause once I started dancing I got. I basically was like, I like, was like, okay, this is mine, you know forever. But my dad really didn. I had to ski on the weekend. That was like our deal that if I would go to ski school on the weekend, I could dance during the week, and so that was like our deal for a long time, which now is awesome. I love skiing and I love that I have that skill in my bag. And then it was about 10. I think I went and saw our local theater, did Oliver and I?

Susie Carroll: 6:05

and I was like, oh my gosh, they're dancing and singing and telling a story, Like they're not just dancing, right, they're telling a story, and I think that was something that was so like my. That's where really my wheel started turning. And then the next year they did Seussical. So I auditioned for Seussical and that was my first musical and fell in love with that and then just kind of, you know, just then start taking voice lessons and everything you know along the way, as long as I was skiing on the weekends. But I did, then I was, and then I was kind of that's where we went from there. But that was kind of how I fell into it. My mom just put me in class at a young age and truly, since I was three, I've, like, had that strong.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:45

That's amazing. Fall to it.

Susie Carroll: 6:46

That's amazing.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:47

Yeah, I've like had that strong. That's amazing. All to it, that's amazing. Yeah, what's so amazing about that is that, well, the agency that you had like this knowing.

Susie Carroll: 6:55

Yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 6:56

Yeah, and you, you come with that. You bring that energy to a room. Thank you you do. Since the moment I met you, I have really strong memories of, like I said, your presence. You're so game, you're so ready for whatever yeah what do you attribute that to? I mean, I understand the love, I understand the, the calling, that that's where you belong is it is there, like what else is there?

Lisa Hopkins: 7:24

is it is it? Do you have a desire to serve or to use your gifts, or to just try new things Like what? Yeah, let's dig in there.

Susie Carroll: 7:32

One thing about me and if you know, like my parents and who's known me forever, like I can't I hate downtime, which is is something I'm kind of working on, you know, cause it's like that's also good for me, but like, like, I just like to be working, like and that doesn't have to mean like in a musical, at all times, I just like. I just like being out in the world and and and connecting with people and in creating things and just like that forward motion. And so I think a big thing for me is like is like what I found with myself, because I just don't. I hate to be stagnant. You know what I mean. Like, I want to like. I always say all the time it's just like.

Susie Carroll: 8:06

I is like what I found with myself, cause I just don't. I hate to be stagnant. You know what I mean. Like I want to like, I always say all the time it's just like, I just like.

Susie Carroll: 8:12

If I'm not like growing and learning, then, like you know, so it's like, and sometimes I honestly, sometimes it is to my deficit where it is like, it's it's exhausting and I do wish I could just be like okay, like, take a beat and let yourself. You know, you know it doesn't have to always be moving, which you know. You know, I I don't know, I don't know if I'm making sense, but it's just like, because sometimes it is like, it is like, okay, oh my gosh, like take a second and acknowledge what you have done, you know, but I just, I just, really I just I like I love connecting with people and and, yeah, it is like it is that greater purpose to me than like I don't always just love performing too, like I really love being in a room just with creatives who just want to do good and serve, yeah, serve, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 9:07

If that makes sense. Yeah, no, it makes a lot of sense. It's interesting I'm hearing you sort of starting to recognize that maybe that's not the only way or the best way, because there might be something you're missing. It's interesting. I often talk to my clients about sometimes our strengths that's a strength of yours too, right, I mean, it's not a bad thing. But sometimes our strengths overshadow you know, they become our weaknesses because we default to them because they work right.

Lisa Hopkins: 9:39

And so that's how you always operate until you can't. And when you can't, for whatever reason a pandemic or lack of a job, or an injury, or whatever it might be- then what do? You do right. Right then, what do you do right? Yeah, yeah, and I mean it's, it's interesting. Talk to me more about, like what the story you tell yourself about I get, I get the value. I'm hearing the value loud and clear.

Lisa Hopkins: 9:57

I I don't I don't dispute that. But it is interesting because you have really identified a pattern that you know if disrupted, like what happens to you if your pattern gets disrupted, your pattern of really moving forward, as you said.

Susie Carroll: 10:13

Yeah, I mean, I mean, I think where I have gotten better at it is like ease, because I think for a while it was a completely full cup or a completely empty cup, right, and I do think that I had, especially, I mean I've, I've crazy enough, I've lived here for 10 years, which is like so wild to me. I can't believe it, I can't believe that this is 10 years living in the city, but I do, I mean, I think that for a while it was really disruptive If I had nothing on it on, you know, on my, if I had like it. It felt so stark, it felt like I was either a hundred percent me or zero, you know, just like with, with working and with being in that forward motion. Now I feel like it's a little bit better. I actually just taught last weekend and I was talking to some of these students. They're college students and I was talking to them and I was like you know, the best thing about being in New York and I think the best thing that I learned is just to keep where. I feel like the biggest like revelation I've had in maybe the past two, three years is that the more you're able to craft this world, that, or like this pie chart of friendship, of non-performing jobs, of you know, of performing jobs, of you know, networking community based people. You know what I mean as well. As well, as long as you're nurturing that, then the second those like that second, like back to the future closed.

Susie Carroll: 11:35

Of course, I was devastated when back to future closed because it was such a beautiful cast and experience and it was truly one of the best experience that I've ever had of just like just a really good camaraderie in a space. But it wasn't. It was the first time. It didn't feel so like like I went under the earth, you know, because for a while it did feel that way. For a while it was very much so like if this, if I go from this forward motion to nothing, it's going to be, it's going to be dark.

Susie Carroll: 12:04

And now I feel like I've gotten to this point where I have the same families that, whether I'm in a show, they, they release me and let me out to the world, and then, when I'm not, they take care of me and say, yeah, you want to come nanny for a couple of days, or you know what I mean, I've got my friends that existed with me throughout the entire time of Back to the Future and they're still my. That's become such a beautiful thing that I've learned of like you can't rely on just that one thing ever gotten better at. Like you know, if it's sometimes just journaling of like you know just to be like, okay, I don't have anything this week, but here's this is why you know this is the things that I'm going to sit with and enjoy and celebrate that I've done and you know what I mean. And like kind of earn my you know sense of, you know of a break Earned your sense of a break Is that what you said, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 13:03

Okay, that's really interesting.

Susie Carroll: 13:05

I know that was probably going to sound as good. I don't really mean it like that either, I know. I mean like you know, it's just like I feel like it's gotten a little less. You know um hard to have you know that time off, cause I do, I love, I, I am the happiest version of myself when I am with a full schedule. It just is, it is just, it's who I am. Yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 13:30

That's fair. That's fair and it's interesting. I guess you know there's probably an opportunity for full to not be only to, to broaden that criteria, right, do you know what I mean? Because there's something probably about full that you up until now, and it makes sense as you're building your career, you know, because all the boxes get ticked when you are doing theater right, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 13:57

But to ask yourself, what is it about theater besides the theater, the inherent theater stuff that? That really lights me up, right. And when I don't have a gig, where can I find that?

Susie Carroll: 14:11

Right.

Lisa Hopkins: 14:12

And that's what will absolutely you know, rather than that, like you said, the binary right off on yes, well, I don't have it, so I'll deal with it. I'll you know, I can learn how to journal, I can learn to give myself grace, but it's like or you can, you can find that same, that same joy, in a in a different manner Maybe. What do you think about that? Oh, yes.

Susie Carroll: 14:34

No, I think I mean you're exactly right. I mean it's there was my long winded, roundabout way of saying it. But yes, like you, I mean it's. It's, it's like the second back to future close, while I was devastated. Oh my gosh, I get to go to dinner at 7 PM, like how, like that is amazing and like the just seeing life in like all of its ways and it is, it is, it's just creating this full life that meet full in so many different ways that now it feels like full can be supplemented as okay the the show schedule leaves. Then it's still full because I've got this great group of people that I want to see at night and I get to go on dates and I get to do you know what I mean like it's just like continues to be full and continues to feel you, you know, just like a warm hug as I go through all of it and then and then, then I get to do a job and stuff like that.

Lisa Hopkins: 15:26

So, yes, I love it. I love it so what would you say is your biggest challenge?

Susie Carroll: 15:36

My biggest challenge, yeah, really struggle with perfectionism. Perfectionism, I mean I think that probably makes sense with everything I kind of was talking about like always wanting to go, go, go and be working and all of that. But like I think that is definitely something I work on a lot of, just like, of like being a. I mean it's funny because I just and I do mean it with my whole chest of like I love to be growing and learning and constantly evolving, but sometimes I hate being that like ground zero students, of like a new skill you know, or like going and being like, oh, I've never, I've never. This is a great example.

Susie Carroll: 16:16

Cutting my hair Is it actually a great example? Like this has been. So it's been so funny for me because I cut it and the day I got home I loved it because they they styled it for me and it was styled perfectly and I was like, yes, I am rolling with this, it's so fun, it's freeing. I just got to do this. Then, for the next two days, I've had to try to style it myself and I'm like losing my mind. I'm like, how do you style short hair? I've had long hair to here for 20 something years, right? So now I'm like and so then it's like, and I get so frustrated. This is like it's a perfect example of I'm so frustrated.

Susie Carroll: 16:53

And then I'm like Susie, you literally never styled short hair a day in your life. Short hair a day in your life? Give it, you know, give it a couple of weeks to try something new every single time and then you'll get in your groove of knowing how to style short hair. But that is definitely, I think, one of my biggest challenge. And that's like a small example, but it's like, honestly, my example like it goes into a lot of forms of my life where I'm like, susie, you've never styled a bob before. You've never done it Like it, like so, so have fun getting to learn how to do it, you know, and it's, and I actually think it's like it was funny as she cut it, I was like, wow, like I'm like, so I'm so proud of myself because it really does like I just like fought my perfectionism and like you know, head on, because I just have no control over this. Now it is gone, I cut it.

Lisa Hopkins: 17:44

Yeah, I love that it's so rich, but it is a good example. Sometimes the simplest life examples are really indicative of the pattern, right, and it's interesting. What really strikes me, and maybe I can ask you about this, is that and it kind of makes sense as I think about it, because you said you really you really hate going into I think you said, if I heard you correctly, I really hate going into I don't know how you framed it but basically into a realm that you don't know, right, yeah, yeah, and or one that you can't control, right? So it makes sense that in your realm, which you are essentially, you know, pretty confident in as a master and a you know not, you know an ongoing master you pretty much know you can handle. I mean, there's a lot of ifs, ands and buts, right, but would it be, would it be fair to say that you know when you say, for example, go into an audition, that you can't control whether they pick you or not, but you can control how you present yourself?

Susie Carroll: 18:50

Yeah, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 18:52

And so if that were true, then does that help you? Does that help you know that the goal becomes to control what you can control, which is to be the best you can be?

Lisa Hopkins: 19:03

yeah yeah, see, I feel that about you, so it comes off as a as a strong confidence, because you know you can control how quote, unquote, air quote, perfect, you can present yourself right, um, and, and nobody else controls that and then, and then the rest is is do you ever get caught in feeling like you know, I did my best, but I didn't get picked? For instance, what goes on in your head?

Susie Carroll: 19:30

You know, honestly, it's, it's. I don't struggle with that that much. I didn't think so I don't. And I, you know, I don't mean to be like. You know, I'm sure that might sound annoying to some people, but and I don't. And I, you know, I don't mean to be like. You know, I'm sure that might sound annoying to some people, but and I don't know if it's just.

Susie Carroll: 19:43

I mean, don't get me wrong, there are some instances where I'll go in for an audition for a job that I really want and I'm like, I really wanted that. But there's not oftentimes where I'm like I, I, I take it in more. I don't know if it's because I've been here for long enough, but I genuinely, really, really truly, I'm like, I think it's just like I'm meant to be in the spaces I'm meant to be in. You know what I mean. And then this, and then the times I don't get things because I'm in the city, I get to go see that job that I didn't get.

Susie Carroll: 20:12

There's many times where I'm like, yeah, that wasn't mine, like that wasn't mine and that's a beautiful thing and I'm so glad that that was yours. And you know, I mean, it's just like. I really do believe there's enough for all of us to go around. I really do, and I think that you're, like we are, are found in the spaces like, and I also live by the mantra of like, like if. If they like you, if you want them and they want you, then that's where it's like, you know, I mean like it's like if, if you're trying to fit into something that it wasn't for you, like I just I never struggle with it too much.

Lisa Hopkins: 20:44

No, I didn't think so. That was my instinct, but I didn't. I didn't want to assume that it's interesting. But that fits into the control conversation, right, and, and to a certain extent you know, yeah, the the perfectionism meaning you controlling what, which, focusing on what you can control, which is, which is you, which is amazing and it's, it's interesting. My, my other question makes me, makes me think, because you do a lot of swing work, which is maybe you can, maybe you can explain that, what that means. So when you're, when you're, a swing on broadway, what does that mean?

Susie Carroll: 21:17

um, I cover all of the female identifying people in the ensemble. So, um, back to the future, there was seven tracks that I covered, um, mean girls, and mean girls was eight and I think palm was seven. So I yes, I've, you know, pop into, uh, you know, somebody's injured or sick or medical leave. I kind of can go in and fill in for anybody whenever needed.

Lisa Hopkins: 21:41

Yeah, that's that, first of all. That's a phenomenal skill. Yeah, but it's I'd love to you know. I've never really asked anyone about this. I think it's really interesting, just in terms of like mindset. How do you, for instance, how do you control? I get that you would be able to control because you'd study and you'd understand the parts and you were given the part. Ergo, you're, you're, you know you're able to do this. But how does the perfectionism come into that, if at all? And then also, what about the not really knowing when or who you're going to go on for? Talk to me a little bit about that when or who you're going to go on for.

Susie Carroll: 22:21

Talk to me a little bit about that.

Susie Carroll: 22:22

Yeah, it's funny because it's like I it's. It is funny because, in a weird way, like this swingy is like the best thing I think that could have ever happened to me, because and it just fell in my lap too, like I, I just it was just like I went. It's actually a phenomenal story that I can tell you now or later about, about how I booked the prom. Sure, tell us, it's actually fun, because I know that you know Gabby Campo as well. Yeah, so we were both sent to an audition because the prom was looking for one female swing and we, before they, went to Broadway and we went to this audition and there was, you know, people there all day and then they basically started cutting people down, down, down, down, down, down down, until until it was narrowed down to like four of us and Gabby went into seeing because she's Campo. She went into seeing before me and then I sang, and then I went into seeing right after her and actually before I even sang, they said actually, can you step out for a second? We need to talk to Gabby one more time. And I said, no problem, you know, whatever. And then Gabby went in and then I went in after her saying, for real this time. We both laughed and I remember kind of leaving that space with her being like, we're both pretty sure you just booked the prom on Broadway, right? And she was like, yeah, I'm pretty sure you know what I mean Like, and we just we celebrate. I mean it was she was a year older than me. It was like, you know, it was one of those things where I think we both were like if it's not me, it's you, if it's not you to me. We were like let's go, let's just do this. Um, and then that following Monday, we showed up to school and she had gotten the call and we you know it was awesome, it's just like, and was like January of 2018. The prom they went into like a lab and then they opened officially November of 2018.

Susie Carroll: 24:04

January of 2019, never went back in for the show, never auditioned again, nothing. I just got a phone call January of 2019 to join the show, the prom on Broadway, as a vacation swing. So I love that story with my whole heart for so many reasons. One, because it has to do with Gabby Campo and I love her to death. And two, because it's just like such a testament to you know, just like going into an audition room and doing your best work and knowing that there, that if you do your best work, you never know what could come from it, you know. So I just love that story.

Susie Carroll: 24:37

And then, and swinging just fell in my lap in that way. They needed a swing. They saw something in me in that room that day. It wasn't my time, thank goodness I also say this all the time. I'm like thank goodness I was a junior in college at that time and I am so glad I had one more year of experience under my belt to then join them, especially joining them as a swing. Like I needed that time to really then show up as the way I did that time to really then show up as the way I did. So I'm so glad it happened the way I did.

Lisa Hopkins: 25:03

Yeah.

Susie Carroll: 25:04

But so then, to answer your question, I um so when you just fell into my lap, I and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because the only way to be good at it or, to you know, learn through that is by doing, and mistakes are literally the inevitable like, and it is, it's singer's plan, and it's like, and then it's like it's. I always say, it's like you go and you're like, oh, I, I know you said that they crossed down stage with me, but I didn't realize how close they are downstage me, and so that is why we bumped into each other. I knew you and I and I could look at that on a paper for the end of time. And I am a little bit like that, because I do like, like what we're talking about. I have this like sense of like, I like to be prepared to the end of the earth, and so I will sit in my living room by myself looking at my notes and going over a thousand times, and because I want to be the best I can be, and Because I want to be the best I can be and I love to show up and work hard and produce good work, but you're never going to know. Until you are on that stage I'm like, oh, never felt that it was that kind of closeness or whatever, whatever the example is, and so I do think it helps. As I was just doing, as I've done this job so many times, I'm just like, oh, okay, okay, Got it Learned. Next time I'll do, next time I'll do better, you know, next time I'll, I'll understand that.

Susie Carroll: 26:37

But, um, and I, I and I grew to really, I've grown to really love it. I love, I think for me it's like I, I, I love the stimulation of it. I love seeing the audience from this angle, from that angle, I love seeing the scene work from this. I like talking to that person Then tomorrow I talked to that person and or I'm talking to myself, then that you know what I mean Like I think it's so exciting and fun and and, and you know it's such a great challenge. And again, I think that's what I kind of said, that that might be the theme too is I like love little challenges, I love to like keep myself stimulated, engage in challenge, and swinging is that ultimate thing. And so you know, I mean don't get me wrong, I mean there are days where it's like I cannot believe I'm here doing this again. I and this is, you know, so hard.

Susie Carroll: 27:27

And then there are days where I'm like this is awesome, you know. I really really, really enjoy. It.

Lisa Hopkins: 27:32

Yeah, no, for sure. And that's that forward motion piece, right, yeah, yeah. Have you ever been part of a show not being a swing? No, I'm probably no. Is that one of?

Susie Carroll: 27:43

your, your goals, aspirations, yeah yeah, it is yeah, it is. I would love to go to work and not think like you know I mean that lightly but like I would love to go to work and be like I know exactly what I'm doing today. That's awesome. And at intermission, sit and just have a snack. You know I'm having a snack while I'm watching that video. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure.

Lisa Hopkins: 28:08

It's that fullness though it's interesting because, as you said that I was like wait. But that's the fullness that you talked about, that you love, which is it feels a little empty when the show's over, but it's like in a microcosm it's like. But even within the show you know you're doing multiple things, like that's the way you roll, right. So interesting, so interesting.

Lisa Hopkins: 28:28

Are you afraid of anything? This landscape? What are you afraid of, whether it be work or just whatever? What scares you? Is there anything that kind of makes you go like where's your edge? I don't know again.

Susie Carroll: 28:42

I mean I, I mean it falls in the same category as the perfectionism as like of like messing up drastically. You know I mean like publicly being bad. You know I have fear of like. You know I've been doing a lot of tv work and like that, that forever of like that tv scares. It scares me in many ways because it's like when, when I like theater is like a little more like okay, well, tomorrow I'll just do it, yeah, I'll just do different you know it's gone yeah, that's not.

Susie Carroll: 29:08

That is not the case. There it is, stakes are high, it costs a lot more money and then it's. Then it is science still delivered and it's done. So it scares me a little bit more, and so I think it challenges me in a way of like still keeping that looseness of like it's okay, you know. I mean like yeah, moving through it and being like, even though it's there forever, it's fine, you know so yeah, it's exercising that letting go yeah trusting.

Lisa Hopkins: 29:34

Yeah, what's your definition of living in the moment for someone who's so motion oriented?

Susie Carroll: 29:40

right. Um, I think living in the moments, showing up authentically as you and like really just being just like so open to you know, like just having like that feelingness of openness and just being so true to who you are, I think is also is so important of living in the moment. In that moment, you know, like it's just being so unapologetically yourself, able to just kind of let like what we're talking about like just like let anything you know, like having your feet planted, and then if the wind blew you this way, you'd go that way and be totally okay, and then that way and be like you know what I mean, like I feel like that is just being like totally receptive of whatever is coming your way, and but keeping your feet completely cemented where they are is an authentic to you. Is, I think, what would be living in the moment for me?

Lisa Hopkins: 30:38

yeah, no, totally. And how often do you do you sort of live in that space?

Susie Carroll: 30:44

um, I would say pretty often yeah the older I'm getting, the more I feel that way, you know, the more I'm just like, yeah, this is, this is what I need and this is how I function, and I think I've gotten better at that of, like you know, of just staying true to me. Well, also, I mean, there, you know, there's a million factors that go in every day and there's a million things that you know people are going to ask many, so many different things of you and like, just like being able to be. You know, like I used to like have to like be, like okay, well, I'm going to respond to that email and, you know, a little while, because I have to think about how I want to. You know, I mean I feel like I've just got. It's just like okay, you know just a little bit more like taking care of myself within all of it yeah is.

Lisa Hopkins: 31:30

Is there a dream that you haven't put out in the universe yet? I mean, you're living your dream currently, right but is there? Is there one that maybe is is sort of toys around in your head that maybe you haven't put out in the universe?

Susie Carroll: 31:44

I'm still trying to figure that out, actually, because I think a big thing for me is I've, I have attained a dream and it's been so obvious for me for so long, since I was like that 10 year old girl. And so now it is. I have had these feelings of like, oh, I mean, I love, I don't wrong, I love this and I'm so happy within all of this, but I'm like I am. I do feel like you know, there is something in me where I'm like I know that there's something, there's more that I want to do. I just haven't been able to really really pinpoint on what it is. Yeah, I don't know, because I don't think I want to perform forever, and I know that for sure. I do know that for sure. How do you know that? Um, I just I've, I kind of have known, funny enough, I've known for a long time. I remember, actually, right before the pandemic, I was very much so like I love this, but I know that I don't want to like it.

Susie Carroll: 32:40

Just like was I, if I'm honest with you, I was on stage and I was like I had this like moment of like, oh, I don't want to be, I and I love the world, and I'm not saying I need to stray far from the world, but I'm just like, oh, I don't know if it's going to be and I don't know, I can't, I can't right now. It's not clear to me. It's not clear if that means choreographer.

Lisa Hopkins: 32:59

I don't it's not something like I'm dying to be a choreographer. That's not something that's you know, I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it what it would be so.

Susie Carroll: 33:16

I don't know, does it, does it excite you? Just not knowing make, how does that excite me? Yeah, it does. It does Because I think for so long it's been so concrete, like this is exactly and it's, it's, again's, again it's. I guess really the theme is it is a challenge of like okay, well, it's not going to come naturally and easy. You know, I mean like I'm going to have to like really try new things and kind of walk a different path than what I've been walking that's so interesting.

Lisa Hopkins: 33:41

Yeah, or walk the same path, but look at it differently yeah, exactly how do you want to be?

Susie Carroll: 33:47

remembered. I hope that I'm remembered to be someone who, who you know, I hope I leave a very positive impact of of bringing people joy as well as kindness. Yeah, I just love connecting with people. I think that we're all so more connected than we all think we are and I think that just sharing kindness and sharing, you know, and just being receptive to other people is like the other day I was on a.

Susie Carroll: 34:20

I sat down on a plane going to Ohio and I sat next to this guy. He's an, an older man, and we didn't talk for the first half of the plane and then second half of the plane. He this is a very sweet story his, his wife was, um, two rows above us. We were in the exit row, so they didn't want us to next to each other because she didn't want to sit on the exit row, but she was, um, she had really bad flight anxiety and so he would get up and check on her from time to time. And then, finally, he came back and sat and I was kind of, you know, chatting with him of different things and he's from Ohio, but he lived in New York for 50 years. I'm originally, I grew up in Utah, but I'm originally from Ohio for 50 years works. We talked about restaurants and different things and you know just like got a lot of you know kind of old New York wisdom from him yeah and then he asked a turn to finally him asking me what I do.

Susie Carroll: 35:18

And I told him what I do and she was like, oh my gosh, I mean I'm, like you know, broadway's so important to me. I've gone to broadway shows my entire 50 years of new york. What have you been in? And I told him back to the future and we kind of came to the conclusion that there's a. You know I'm a swing, so it's not. We weren't certain, but I was on a ton in the month of september and he was like, oh, and saw it in september and, like you know, just like it's just like kindness and connection is so important to me because you can miss out on so many conversations like the one I had with that guy, you know, I mean like totally and it's like I just think it's the more that you are willing to just like open yourself up.

Susie Carroll: 35:53

I mean like then you get these connections with these people that fill your life in such a beautiful way. So that's why kindness is so important to me. Kindness, and just like receptiveness you know I what I mean Like yeah, cause kindness can be, can mean so many different things.

Lisa Hopkins: 36:08

Yeah, exactly, which is why I thank you, for I mean, I love, I love to hear what, what it means to you. How do you recharge, cause you're, you're, you're a go getter right, you're very busy. Yes, how do you recharge? What do you?

Susie Carroll: 36:28

what do you do? What works for you? That is where it's my battle, especially when I'm in New York. Okay, um, I do live alone, though there are some times where I'm like I need to be solely alone. I love just like having somebody over and sitting them on, like be, like, sit on my couch, I'm gonna cook a meal and we can just like you know, just be together. Yeah, and that to me, is recharging, like.

Susie Carroll: 36:41

But then there are moments where I am like no, no, if in a very busy day there are moments, or like a tushar day, there are many times where I do need to come, like I, even if it's like I'm coming home for 30 minutes yeah also something that is like in my kind of habit where I am like I don't know, I don't care if I have to travel for 30 minutes, to be home for 30 minutes, like I just need that like kind of like touch base with me and that helps, um. But then I also recharge. But I love, I love spending time with my family and I have these two new nephews that I love and like, if time allows, I will go to Ohio, which is where they are, um, be with them and and just kind of take a breath out of New York, cause as much as I do love it here, I do love a good suburb in Ohio.

Lisa Hopkins: 37:28

That's so cute. I love it. We've talked a lot about some of your highlights in your career and I'm curious to know are there any low lights?

Susie Carroll: 37:38

Yes, I mean you know there's definitely been, I mean, long periods of time that I wasn't, you know, performing there. I have had the most incredible career so far. But I definitely also know somebody who goes from show to show. You know what I mean. Like it it isn't like I have. I do experience unemployment, because I have some friends who don't, and that's just their reality. They just go from one show to the next and that is they, you know.

Susie Carroll: 38:04

Um, I really try not to look at it as that is they. You know, I really try not to look at it as like a low light. You know what I mean. The pandemic was totally low. It was. I mean it was totally low. I mean it just sucks. I mean because it did feel so, so stark and I at that moment I was still younger at that point so I didn't know how to like, I felt like I didn't know how to pivot and shift and be like, okay, let's try something new. It just felt. I just felt so stuck in it. But then it's like now I look back and I like I taught me so much. You know what I mean. It was like I don't. I don't now look at it as low. You know, I don't look at it low, I'm like, okay, well, it taught me. You know, it taught me, so it did teach me so much.

Lisa Hopkins: 38:50

What do you know will stay true about you, no matter what happens.

Susie Carroll: 38:57

I mean, I feel like it's everything we've talked about, which is just like just that sense of optimism and and um ability to just, you know, see the good in everyone and everything.

Lisa Hopkins: 39:09

Yes, I think that's. I think you nailed it. So can you finish this phrase? Most people think Susie Carroll is, but the truth is.

Susie Carroll: 39:17

I think people think I am.

Susie Carroll: 39:19

I think they do think I am very monochromatic in the sense that every like life is easy, like it's good, I'm happy all the time and I I, you know it things just come my way and I and I, you know it is, you know, I look at it a completely different way, where I'm like I have I work really hard to make those things true, while also living a very full life of all different emotions and all different, all different things, and I choose to show up in a certain way and or, like you said, or and I also feel like I am very authentic in my way where, where you know or or I, or I don't, but I also am like you know, when I'm not, I'm very, I'm very open to being like yeah, it's not my best day, you know what I mean Like, but I work really hard, I work really hard and I've worked really hard.

Susie Carroll: 40:09

Like this is not always come natural to me, you know I mean like I I did grow up very much, so like everything's fine, now all's good. You know what I mean and I've I've earned my stripes here where I'm like no, I'm, I'm a really hard worker, things don't just come to me. You don't see the level of work that is behind this, underneath the surface, here and yes, yeah, that's so valid.

Lisa Hopkins: 40:29

It's interesting because the word depend came into my head, which is that people can depend on you for a lot of things. I could make a list of all the things you just said.

Susie Carroll: 40:38

Right.

Lisa Hopkins: 40:39

Yeah, what's something that that you know people could depend on you for, but that you never really get asked or expected to to to show up in that way?

Susie Carroll: 40:51

I don't know, so think about that?

Lisa Hopkins: 40:56

I don't know, I don't think about that. Yeah, fair, it's an interesting, interesting thing to think about, right.

Susie Carroll: 41:01

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not positive.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:09

Yeah, yeah, fair, good, I'll leave you with that thought all right, we're gonna, we're gonna do rapid fire. So I'm gonna say what makes you, I'm gonna say word and you say the first thing that comes to your mind okay, okay, you ready. Yeah, now there's no being perfect at this. It's funny. I even I even felt at the beginning of our conversation that you kept I don't want to say judging yourself, but you kept reeling yourself in with that perfectionism going. I know that's not the question you asked me and I know it's like right and this might really sound stupid. It's so funny.

Lisa Hopkins: 41:40

Nothing sounded stupid and you answered perfectly for you because, however you are, you're exactly where you're supposed to be and what you say is exactly. You know, and and I really do believe that we all do the very best we can in any given moment- yeah but all our moments aren't the same. That's the piece that we miss sometimes, right right, so are you ready? Yes, all right, all right. Susie Carroll, here she comes. What makes you hungry?

Susie Carroll: 42:18

I don't know what makes me hungry. Well, I love food. I don't know if that's a question, though. I love food, so I'm hungry all the time. But, um, uh, what makes me hungry? This city makes me hungry. I just like just like being in, like it, just being absorbed in in the city really makes me just like hungry to try new things cool.

Lisa Hopkins: 42:48

What makes you sad?

Susie Carroll: 42:51

um, oh my gosh, there's quite a bit. The world can is a little is quite challenging right now. Um, but, um, yeah, and I feel like I mean gosh, there's so many things that make me sad. I just really wish people had accessibility to equal opportunities so that we could all live our best life. Yeah Well, inequality, right Inequality makes you sad, yeah, and having people who don't believe in inequality makes me even more sad what inspires you?

Susie Carroll: 43:32

um, my, my friends. I have a lot. I keep a very great group of friends who continue to challenge each other, and it really inspires me on a daily basis.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:43

I love that, and what makes you frustrated?

Susie Carroll: 43:48

My perfectionism. What makes you laugh? Tiktok.

Lisa Hopkins: 43:54

What makes you angry when people?

Susie Carroll: 43:57

don't listen.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:00

And finally, what makes you grateful.

Susie Carroll: 44:03

So much I try to wake up and journal every morning and I just like really tried to use a world full of gratitude. But like, even like you know, I live in this little apartment by myself and it's like I'm always so grateful for that. Like, when I wake up here and I'm like, oh my gosh, like it just is like a reminder every day, I'm like I live in New York and I'm by myself and it's so cool, so it's great, I mean, but that's like such a small thing I'm grateful for. So I'm grateful for so many of my friends and my family and yeah.

Susie Carroll: 44:29

It's hard to pick one.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:31

Yeah, fair, yeah Fair.

Susie Carroll: 44:38

What are the top three things that have happened so far today? Um, I made a really good breakfast sandwich was phenomenal.

Lisa Hopkins: 44:50

And then I went to work out with a good friend of mine and we go to the same gym, so we worked out, had a great time, and then this podcast.

Susie Carroll: 44:54

What's something you're looking forward to, both today and then, you know, in the future say I am going to try a new restaurant in brooklyn tonight with a friend who is on a show schedule, so we get to see each other often on Monday nights. Going to try a new restaurant called Marga and then in the future I am looking forward to summer. I love the summer it's my season, um but uh, I teach a lot in the summer, which I always look forward to, and I get to spend some good time with my family.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:29

Yeah, oh, that's nice. Well, you get. You'll get out of the city a little bit, will you?

Susie Carroll: 45:33

Yeah, yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:35

That's nice. Yeah, that's nice. I so appreciate you spending this time with me today.

Susie Carroll: 45:40

Really Likewise. It's been such a pleasure yeah.

Lisa Hopkins: 45:44

I've been speaking today with Susie Carroll. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment. In music, stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison, supporting the soloist to express their individuality In the moment. I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time, I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening.