🎙️ Say No to People Pleasing & Yes to You!

Ever wonder why a stranger's approval often feels more valuable than our own self-acceptance? This thought-provoking episode explores our collective obsession with external validation and the exhausting mathematics of people-pleasing.

We dive into the dangerous equation many of us follow: dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller pieces to meet others' expectations until we're stretched impossibly thin, serving no one well – especially not ourselves. I explore how we've become masters of relationship politics, pretending everything's fine when it isn't, then feeling frustrated when nobody notices our unspoken distress. This growing gap between our authentic selves and our public personas creates a mathematical impossibility – trying to be everything to everybody simply doesn't add up.

But there's profound freedom in recognizing yourself as the only common denominator in your life – the prime number that cannot be divided. Consider this: of the 7+ billion people on Earth, most will never know you existed, and of those who do, how many truly know the authentic you? When we shift focus from external approval to internal alignment, we discover that what matters isn't universal acceptance but personal integrity. Yes, standing in your truth means some people won't like what you have to say – and that's perfectly okay. The journey will be messy and imperfect, but gloriously yours. By showing up authentically, you not only reclaim your power but create space for others to do the same. Isn't that a much more fulfilling way to contribute to the world than endless people-pleasing?

What might change in your life if you stopped seeking validation from others and started honoring your inherent worth? I'd love to hear your thoughts – share your experiences or reflections in the comments, and if this message resonated with you, please subscribe and share with someone who might need to hear it.

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Chapters

• 0:00 The Trap of External Validation
• 1:19 Stretching Ourselves Too Thin
• 2:00 You Are Your Own Common Denominator
• 2:38 Living Authentically Despite Opinions

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

I often wonder why we so often place more value on what others think of us than how we think about ourselves. How is it that we believe that if someone else likes us or what we do or say, then we must be okay? In a world where likes are a barometer for whether or not we are showing up in an acceptable way, we try to please, attract and impress as many people as we can and then live in fear that someone won't approve or respond in the way we had hoped or expected them to. We've gotten so good at dividing ourselves into smaller and smaller pieces that we end up stretched thin, pleasing no one with an empty tank. We compound things further by playing relationship politics, often pretending we are okay when we're not, and then getting really frustrated or even angry when no one notices how we feel. We've all been there, but at what point did we start to lose our ability to tap into how we factor into the equation and instead multiply the distance between who we really are and how we are showing up? Do the math it doesn't add up. We can't be everything to everybody, but we can be everything to ourselves. In fact, we are the only common denominator, the prime number. Whether we feel like it or not, we are in control. I know that it seems easier sometimes to go with the flow than to share our own thoughts or ideas or to ask for what we want or need, but I promise you, relying on others to define our worth is a zero-sum game. Never, ever, underestimate how valuable you truly are.

Speaker 1: 2:17

There are more than 7 billion people in the world, most of whom will never know you ever existed, and of the ones that do, how many really know you when you emanate from who you truly are? It isn't important that everyone agrees or likes what you say or do. The important thing is that it matters to you. Everyone will not always like what you have to say, and that's okay, and if they do, then that's great too. Either way, you are not defined by the way that they want or expect you to be anymore. It'll be messy and imperfect, but it'll be yours. Life is way too short to try and please everyone. The best way you can contribute to the world is by showing up for yourself and by saying what you need to say, you give permission to others to do the same. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy, everyone, and remember to live in the moment.