💡 Coaching Insights: Stop Proving and Start Believing!

We unpack what it means to truly own your worth without performing it, proving it, or apologizing for it. This conversation explores the difference between authentic confidence and performative self-worth.

• The misconception that client interactions are about proving ourselves rather than delivering value
• How trying to "wear hats" or personas prevents us from accessing our authentic capabilities
• The distinction between confidence (internal) and cockiness (seeking external validation)
• Confidence as a result of facing challenges and discovering your competence
• The metaphor of "wearing the shirt" without defending your choice to wear it
• Embracing negative thoughts as teachers rather than enemies
• Inviting your "inner monsters" to dialogue instead of fighting them

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Chapters

• 0:00 Unpacking True Self-Worth
• 1:52 Confidence vs. Cockiness
• 3:14 Embracing Your Inner Monsters

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hey there, in this week's Coaching Insights, we unpack what it means to truly own your worth without performing it, proving it or apologizing for it. Let's dive in. We're in service of delivering the story. That's what people are hiring us for. We think that we are there to show how good we are and they're there to tell us how good we're not, which is totally not true, but right, totally how it feels. So it would be natural that you would go in there and say, yeah, badass is good, and um, and people tell me I'm a badass, so I'm gonna be the badass, without just realizing I am a badass and I am sensitive and I am.

Speaker 1: 1:11

These are all parts of you, right, it's the parts of you that make you valuable, not only as a human being, but in your profession, like really so much so. And I think it's that putting on a hat. I can wear this hat, you could. You could wear gazillion hats, but can you be? Can you tap into that part of you? That is that. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1: 1:39

And then there's the other overarching thing, which is that when you're standing there, it's a difference between confidence and cockiness, and the confidence is internal. It has nothing to do with what people say about you. That doesn't make you confident. What makes you confident I mean confidence is a result. Confidence is a result of going through difficult things and realizing that you are totally competent and right things, and realizing that you are totally competent and right. So when you think about where you are in your career now, it's not resting on your laurels, it's not bragging if you've done it and it's written on your resume. So you don't need to say it, but you do. You need to believe it. You don't need to prove it. So instead of saying to them I don't know what's the matter with me, just remind yourself owning it but not owning it to don't know what's the matter with me, just remind yourself owning it but not owning it to prove it. That's the distinction.

Speaker 1: 2:32

I think we all think that owning it means I like this shirt. I don't care if you don't like teddy bears, I'm wearing this shirt and I look good, versus just wearing the shirt. I'm wearing this shirt, I'm not worried what you think wearing the shirt. I'm wearing the shirt, I'm not worried what you think about the shirt. Do you know what I mean? Like? It's such a big distinction because it's that impulse and isn't that we come by it naturally, like we do. So don't kick yourself. Just, in fact, these trip ups, these things that happen, these negative things, these stories, whatever, they're all teachers too, and so when they come up, we can welcome them and invite them in, and invite the monsters in and say, hey, maybe we should sit down and have a dialogue and figure out why are you here? You know what I mean. Like what's going on and we did that right, even with the gremlin right. It's like why are you here? It's interesting that you're showing up. It just gives us more choice.