Lisa Hopkins: Beyond Manifestation

Lisa shares a recent life experience in which she chose to walk away from the very thing that she appeared to have manifested.

"Romance and red tape don’t make great dance partners, and it wasn’t long before we started to wonder if we had made the right decision. What began as a romantic vision was now being threatened by worry and second thoughts."

"What followed was a different kind of dance with steps that, although unfamiliar, were slower and more deliberate and had a certain kind of synchronicity that we hadn’t experienced together before."

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Transcript

Imagine a beautiful country lane in a historic French village in the eastern townships of Quebec. It’s a bucolic scene, replete with a quaint auberge, a chocolatier, and, the pièce de résistance, the quintessential 1880’s anglican church that’s been lovingly restored and converted to a unique residence. Can you imagine that? I did. 

Well, first we discovered it on the realtor site, but the moment I saw it I imagined myself there. I walked through every room and looked out each window. I felt the long cold winter thawing and saw the first buds of spring peeking out the window below the bell tower. I imagined myself standing in the kitchen surrounded by family. Hosting holiday parties and, in the summer, music events on the lawn. In my mind I had already jumped on my bike and rode into wine country with my husband and stomped the grapes in the autumn at the fouloir. I envisioned it alright. One might even say I “manifested” it. 

Manifestation is a word thrown around so much these days. It comes from the Latin word manifestus meaning "caught in the act," manifest can be used as an adjective, a noun or a verb. 

As an adjective, manifest is a formal way to say that something is apparent to the senses and is synonymous with evident, apparent, obvious or clear. If you have strong feelings about something, they will be manifest on your face. A ship or plane's manifest is the list of cargo or passengers on a particular trip.

I like that one. 

Did we manifest the vision of this mystical property all the way to our accepted offer and scheduled move in date? I don’t know. 

What I do know is that the definition of manifest as a “a list of cargo or passengers on a particular trip” is precisely what my husband and I were. And it is on that journey that the greatest joy was discovered and that the destination, as glorious as it might have been, was rendered insignificant in the grander scheme of things.

The thrill of the get was palpable. We knew that there would be no counter-offer from the owner, and that we had just one chance to win the bid. At the eleventh hour, our agent called and suggested we write something from the heart about how we felt about the property. She thought it might make the difference. 

Her suggestion was a true gift indeed.  A welcome reprieve from suppressing my true feelings behind my contrived poker face of negotiation.  And she was right, it did make the difference. The owners were moved by what I wrote and accepted our offer. My husband calls it the $15,000 note! 

We revelled in our win and toasted to a new future. There is nothing as glorious as basking in a win.

But no sooner had we heaved a  sigh of relief about achieving our goal, than our rhetoric started to set it. And it sounded a lot like an attempt to calm the fear that we felt rising inside of us. As the reality of what was to follow started to seep in, (radon tests, financing, inspections, paperwork, deadlines), so did the doubt.

Romance and red tape don’t make great dance partners, and it wasn’t long before we started to wonder if we had made the right decision. What began as a romantic vision was now being threatened by worry and second thoughts.

The proverbial dance floor was getting crowded and everybody was stepping on everyone’s toes. The music which was so beautiful before was now blaring and we had to yell to be heard.

It was at that moment, that the alchemy began. Somehow from that place, which could have so easily derailed us, we found ourselves moving away from harsh judgement of ourselves, others or the situation, and toward a more sage space of discernment. As we began to recognize and explore what we had learned from this endeavor that we might not otherwise have known, things started to move in a new direction.

What followed was a different kind of dance with steps that, although unfamiliar, were slower and more deliberate and had a certain kind of synchronicity that we hadn’t experienced together before. 

The pulse of the unexpected rhythm, although initially driven by fear, somehow converted into some of the most meaningful and honest interactions my husband and I have ever shared. 

Instead of clinging to the shoulds and shouldn’ts that were so very clearly presenting themselves, (“we have committed - we need to follow through”, “why did we get in this deep if we weren’t sure?” etc) or trying to fix and reassure each other that everything would be fine, (“we’ll make it work” “it’ll be great - you’ll see” ) we took the time instead, to listen.

The kind of deep listening associated with detached involvement to what we wanted to hear. The kind of listening inherent in unconditional love .

We took turns leading and acknowledged and validated each other’s thoughts and feelings and got curious instead of defensive when we didn’t see things the same way. 

We uncovered a common ground that was the fertile soil in which we were able to dig deeper to discover what values were connected to the choices that we were making together.

We started paying attention to what we were heading toward rather than what we were running from and stopped spending our energy on trying to find a loophole and renege on the offer. 

Suddenly all the possibilities were flowing back in and we were getting excited again about why we were inspired to do it in the first place. Things that felt like obstacles before, were coming more easily now as we moved forward whole-heartedly toward our vision. 

We remarked how the experience had brought us closer together, and how grateful we were to feel seen and heard by each other. 

In just one month we’d be starting our new life, in that beautiful bucolic French village, on that charming country lane in the magical church that we had manifested. 

Then we received an email. The radon test was positive. It was our one contingency. We had an out. We looked each other in the eyes, and, with detached involvement and unconditional love, we whole-heartedly retracted our offer. 

Whether or not I actually manifested all of this I will never know. But I do know for certain that you can’t put a price on what we learned and that the return on investment from the experience itself is what holds the greatest value. And that is non-negotiable.

I’m Lisa Hopkins, thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember  to live in the moment.