Lisa Hopkins: When is Enough Enough?

Safe to say we have all at one time or another reached a boiling point and finally found the strength to draw the line and stand by our non-negotiables.

But what non-negotiables do we have for how we treat ourselves? Why do we set the bar so high for how we show up for others but keep it so low for how we show up for ourselves?

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Transcript

What does the word enough mean to you in this moment? Is it a kind of settling? “this is good enough for now” Or does it feel like gratitude? “I’ve got more than enough” Or maybe it’s wrapped up in greed or scarcity. An insatiable hunger for more.  “I don’t have enough”.

Sometimes it shows up as a much needed boundary. A primitive inner voice that rises up inside and  screams “enough is enough!”    

Safe to say we have all at one time or another reached a boiling point and finally found the strength to draw the line and stand by our non-negotiables.

But what non-negotiables do we have for how we treat ourselves? Why do we set the bar so high for how we show up for others but keep it so low for how we show up for ourselves?

Used one way,  “enough” can be empowering, a kind of catharsis as we finally stand in our truth. And yet the very same word, when turned on ourselves, has an astonishing self-destructive capacity.

“I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never be enough” “ ….you know the script. The overwhelming  feeling that somehow we aren’t rising to the expectations of others, and that we are therefore flawed or deficient.

But what does enough even mean? 

Is it defined by some sort of unreachable destination or perfect ideal that seems to get further away the closer we get? We are all too aware of the high value our society places on fame, money, success and beauty but if we don’t take a moment to understand what our values are how can we begin to value ourselves? 

I came across something that Susan David wrote in her wonderful book “Emotional Agility”. That I’d like to share with you as I think it is particularly insightful and on point in this moment. She writes:

"Let go of unrealistic dead people's goals by accepting that being alive means  sometimes getting hurt, failing , being stressed and making mistakes.Free yourself from ideas of perfection so you can enjoy the process of loving and living. Open yourself up to the love that will come with hurt and the hurt that will come with love and to the success that will come with failure and the failure that will come with success Recognize that life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility. We're young until we're not, we're healthy until we're not, we're with those we love until we're not. Learn how to hear the heartbeat of your own “why” and finally remember to dance if you can."
 
‘Nough said. I’m Lisa Hopkins thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment.